But the big news for society is of course that we’re the boomers—the mightiest generation to ever hit the planet—and we’re not taking any of that crap!

So there I am going about my business one day when I hear the familiar sound of my mail carrier’s truck. Hoping for a message from a friend, I race out to the mailbox as fast as my fifty-plus legs can take me. (Just to be clear, I don’t have fifty legs… I couldn’t quite figure out the correct word order—but I trust you get my drift.)

Rather than the anticipated letter, however, there in the pile of junk mail and ads was a message of another sort… one that took my breath away. It was from a magazine I hadn’t subscribed to in years. They wanted me back and must have decided upon some clever marketing scheme aimed at garnering my business.

Now my guess is that the author of this cunning ploy had to be young, probably male, and absolutely clueless because there on the outside of the envelope in great big bold print stood the words that burned my eyes like a hot poker: YOU QUALIFY FOR THE SENIOR CITIZEN OFFER—DETAILS INSIDE!

Yes, I’m proud of my generation. Yes, I’ve come to terms with most of the changes to my body and my looks brought on by age.  And, yes, I’m a champion for the feisty side of fifty. But PUH-LEASE, leave my mailbox alone! Keep your offers to yourself or this ol’ gal just might suggest where you can stuff ‘em.

Well, that’s my rant for the day—I’d love to hear yours. I know you’ve got them because, without a doubt, there’s a whole lot of reasons to get feisty once you’re on the far side of fifty!

• Have you ever fibbed about your age?
• Is the weight on your driver’s license off by more than a few pounds?
• How do you respond to the most dreaded question a friend can ever ask: “Does this dress make me look fat?”

If you’re like the rest of us, you may be less than truthful with your responses to these and other difficult questions. According to an article in Psychology Today, a recent study showed that people told an average of 1.65 lies per day. (The author, however, disagreed with the findings believing that number was grossly underreported. In fact, he thought the respondents were lying about their lying!)

Another study conducted in Britain showed that men lie twice as often as women—confessing to a commanding six lies per day as compared to a mere three for the female of the species. The most frequently uttered fib? “Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine” made the top of the list for both genders.

There are several reasons why we lie. To name a few, these include circumstances such as: we’re embarrassed to share the truth about ourselves or those close to us, we want to spare our friends’ feelings, we want to get out of doing something we don’t want to do, or we want to avoid issues and topics that could lead to uncomfortable conversations.

Now I consider myself an honest person. Nevertheless I do confess to “stretching the truth a bit” from time to time. And, to be totally honest (if you’ll believe me), I share some of my biggest tall tales with myself… You know the ones like “I’ll open the bag of chips but only eat a few” or “I’ll check out the sale but won’t buy anything.” Worst of all, I’m a huge sucker—I’ve fallen for my own fabrications more often than I care to admit!

I found a fascinating presentation on the subject by Lie Spotting author, Pamela Meyer. This human lie detector came up with some remarkable ways to tell when someone is lying to us. If you’re interested (and who wouldn’t be?) Pamela shares both verbal and nonverbal clues with video clips to make her points.

After viewing Pamela’s highly informative talk, I’ll be checking my mirror more often. The next time I tell myself to head for the bag of chips… I’ll take a good long look at my body language and check for the telltale signs I’m telling myself another whopper!

Suzanne Braun Levine writes of the “Fertile Void,” that time in a woman’s life between first and second adulthood when every part of her reality seems to be in flux. Her mindset is shifting away from the cares and concerns of mothering young children, building a career, and attempting to behave like society’s ideal of the modern woman—you know… the one about doing and having it all. At 50, she still wants it all–but less according to society’s definition and more on her own terms.

Gloria Feldt describes the dilemma further by recognizing that our generation is the first to encounter these types of thoughts and issues. In a recent article in Life Goes Strong, Gloria reminds us: “We are the first generation of women to have been responsible for our financial security throughout most of our lives. We never thought we’d be trying—or needing—to craft new careers at 50, 60, and in today’s economy, even 70.”

Yet it is in second adulthood that many women discover their essence. We start to identify that which satisfies our personal drives and learn the keys to finding work that fulfills our hearts and minds. But sometimes we can use a little help along the way.

So for mentoring material that will provide you with answers to your own quest, I suggest you take a look at Gloria Feldt.com and Suzanne Braun Levine.com. These two amazing women have personally inspired me. To my mind, there are no better role models of the true power of womankind at its best.

Also, if you’re looking to find a new job or career, I invite you to take a look at Land the Job You Love: 10 Surefire Strategies for Jobseekers Over 50. Along with job search techniques, there are plenty of self-assessment exercises to help you choose the path to the livelihood that’s right for you.

January is mentoring month… so, if you need one, find one. And, if you’ve had one, take a little time to let her know what she’s meant to you. Especially in the years past 50, we can all use a boost of female empowerment to keep us feeling feisty!

So why not let your own voice be heard? Why not share your personal tale with a mass audience? If you’ve got an anecdote about aging and menopause, have I got the perfect forum for you!  Not Your Mother’s Book on Menopause will be your chance to contribute humorous, inspiring, and even edgy tales of how you’ve traveled that rather rocky road to true maturity.

There are some guidelines you’ll need to follow. Stories need to be true accounts, written in the first person, and between 500 and 1500 words. (There are a few additional requirements you’ll want to check out.) Otherwise, have fun; unleash all that creativity that blossoms in midlife and let menopause be your muse.

When you’ve finished, submit your story here—be sure to click on the book title for menopause. (When the book is published, a brief epilogue will appear after your story where you can share information about yourself, your blog, or additional activities you’d like to promote.)

So have at it and enjoy! Let’s let the world know that our flower power is now in full bloom. In fact, in true boomer fashion, our generation is taking the “pause” out of menopause. And Not Your Mother’s Book on Menopause will be a celebration of the ground-breaking, revolutionary, and very feisty side of fifty—won’t you add your voice to the revolution?

So if you are looking for a job or concerned about the one you currently hold, here are four career realities of 2012 you’ll want to bear in mind:

The new job security—You’re considered only as valuable as the skills you offer, the problems you can solve, and the ideas you present. Job security is no longer met through external structures. Rather it is experienced by way of internal direction, innovation and preparation.

Flexibility is key—The ladder of advancement is more likely to be horizontal rather than vertical (i.e., increased skills, experience and training rather than enhanced job titles). Recognize you are the master of your own destiny. Take a proactive approach to your career by keeping current with the demands of the times, identifying opportunities as they arise, and consistently reevaluating your direction.

You have to market yourself—Whether you’re in a job search, vying for opportunities within an organization, or attracting clients or customers to your own business, you’ll need to market yourself as a valuable problem-solver. Although tooting one’s own horn is anathema to many, it’s a necessary skill. And you can learn it!

It’s generally helpful to think of yourself as selling a product—and that product is you. You’ll need to define the product (you) with well-chosen descriptive words, differentiate it from other products, and identify its benefits (how employing you as a problem solver will bring value to the organization). To substantiate your claims, you’ll want to identify and describe problems you have solved in the past, the skills you used, and the positive results you achieved. This way you’ll be providing a framework for demonstrating what you’re capable of accomplishing in the future.

Managing your career in 2012 is a bit like piloting a boat. In order to avoid being blown adrift by the winds of change, you have to adjust your sails, keep your eyes on the horizon, use your skills to best advantage, and proceed along your chosen course. To help you succeed, take a moment to check out Land the Job You Love: 10 Surefire Strategies for Jobseekers Over 50. Whether you’re currently in a job search or not, preparation and planning will make for smooth sailing… even in the choppy waters of  today’s workplace.

To our youthful minds, there were clear and definite delineations: good and evil, right and wrong, truth and lies. However as we’ve aged, the “whole truth” has blurred a bit. More and more, we’ve come to realize that, for each of us, truth is a byproduct of our personal filters.

In the larger context, our truths are based on the culture of our country of origin, the religious upbringing we experienced, and the mores of the times in which we live. Our more intimate truths are based on our own experiences, how people relate to our actions, and what we believe about ourselves.

Even eyewitness accounts of crimes have now been shown to be unreliable. This is because personal filters and physical limitations also affect an individual’s sensory input–thereby impacting their version of “the truth.” (Wow! These forensic findings would have appalled our childhood heroes, Jack and Perry!)

Nevertheless, this realization can be incredibly freeing. We have a choice as to what to believe about ourselves… and that brings me to my favorite topic: aging. Study after study points to the benefits of having a positive outlook on life. Optimists, especially those with a rich social system of friends and colleagues, are better able to ward off disease, practice habits that promote health and wellbeing, and generally live fuller, happier lives.

So I’d like to pass along a truth I got from a friend. She received this particular piece of advice while sitting in her garden.

The Truth: Life Lessons From a Sunflower…

Stand tall

Back straight

Chin up

Face the sun

If you’re looking for the truth about aging,  I doubt you’ll find a better lesson to follow than that!

Seemingly everywhere one turned, there was a book or an article about this major life transition. Yet most of these pieces, informative as the were, spoke mainly of the discomfort of perimenopause and little of the wondrous freedom that comes with post-menopausal zest.

Suzanne Braun Levine and I have held many conversations on the topic. Suzanne is the former editor of Ms. magazine turned prolific author of books for women over 50. In fact, she’s just come out with her newest one, How We Love Now, Sex and the New Intimacy in Second Adulthood. Our latest discussion is a mere 15-minutes—well worth your time because Suzanne’s thoughts will resonate with you and deepen your perspective on your own journey through this remarkable stage of life.

In addition to enriching our relationships, the menopausal years provide us with numerous life-affirming freedoms. Many women report they’re happier in their third act than ever before.

Here are four freedoms that are true for me and, I’m guessing, for you as well:

The obvious—no more “feminine hygiene” products, uncomfortable bloating, or monthly mood swings. I often forget this freedom because I’ve now grown accustomed to feeling energetic and happy most every day of my life. However the cessation of one’s period is truly a cause for celebration.

Perspective—I’m freed from many of the worries of my youth. I no longer obsess about details, spend hours worrying that my words may have been misinterpreted, or feel wounded by a friend’s oversight. The realization that life is short is both a lesson in reality and immensely freeing. Perspective is truly one of the greatest gifts of age.

Learning to say “no”—This particular freedom is one Suzanne considers to be one of the most important of them all. As she puts it, it is only by learning to say “no” that our “yes” becomes authentic. In other words, we are now giving ourselves permission to “choose to” rather than to “have to.” This simple act of authenticity frees the individual and everyone in her circle of relationships… no more begrudging acceptance for us!

Learning to love myself—I’ve learned that I truly want to take care of my health, my wellbeing, and my-SELF.  As they say in the commercials, it’s “because I’m worth it!” No longer as concerned with how others may view me, I’m finally, finally realizing that I’m a valuable person in my own right. No more, “if I could just lose 10 pounds, I’d be attractive” thinking for me. I’ve become feisty!

So let’s share the good news with our younger sisters who are deep in the throes of perimenopause. Let’s let them know there is light at the end of the tunnel and, better yet, that light is big, bright, sassy, and incredibly freeing.

And be certain to check out Suzanne’s book—there’s no better way to celebrate love, sex, and the new intimacy than with an old broad’s sense of freedom!

In most ways, we were right. Our gender has gone on to make major inroads in both the private and the public sectors. No longer chained to the kitchen, we’ve traded in our aprons for tool belts and computer chips, and moved from charity bake sales to the trading floors of Wall Street.

Nevertheless, in other ways, women can never compete with men. Men are just downright better off. If you don’t believe the previous statement, here are several reasons why the guys have it so great:

• Same work, more pay.
• They get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• Wrinkles add character.
• They can open all of their own jars.
• Car mechanics tell them the truth.
• Their underwear is  $8.95 for a three-pack.
• The same hairstyle and clothes last for years, maybe decades.
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• They can play with toys all of their life.
• They can wear shorts no matter how their legs look.
• They only have to shave their face and neck.
• They have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

And my personal favorite…

• The world is their urinal. They never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky!!!

But the issue that affects our quality of life more than any other is almost always forgotten. In fact, it’s omitted from the list of most people’s New Year’s resolutions. Even those of us who concern ourselves with health issues at midlife make light of it, joke about it (see the cartoon below), and yet secretly fear the malfunction of this vital organ more than any other.

Since our brain rules every aspect of our bodies: memories, thoughts, emotions, and connections to both our outer and inner worlds, doesn’t it deserve at least one New Year’s resolution focused on keeping it healthy? I think so… and am resolving to spend a minimum of 10 minutes a day for 4 or 5 days a week keeping my oft-neglected noggin in working order.

I’ve recommended several books on this blog, but aside my own, Land the Job You Love, I’ve never officially advertised anything. That is, until I created the link to Lumosity. I wholeheartedly recommend taking a look at this site.

Their entertaining, varied, and FUN brain exercises are based on extensive research and cutting-edge science from such prestigious institutions as Stanford, Harvard, Columbia, and UCSF.  Based on the principle of neuroplasticity (the brain’s lifelong ability to reshape neural connections), there is now clinical evidence that we can greatly enhance our cognitive functions—no matter how old we are.

Adding to the science behind their games, another great thing about Lumosity is the cost. I’ve seen other brain game programs advertised at significant expense—but Lumosity is literally just pennies a day. So give yourself a real treat in 2012 and click the link in the left margin to find out more. You can give it a free test run so you have nothing to lose.

And let’s remember this thought in 2012: there can be no better celebration of the years past 50 than to keep your synapses sassy and firing in a very feisty way… so make a resolution to do just that!

When the ball in Times Square dropped to signify yet another January 1st had rolled around, I realized I could no longer take my life for granted. At our age, we well understand there are no guarantees in life. Nevertheless, we still find ourselves believing we’re invincible. This New Year, however, the sheer number of days I’ve existed on the planet has me thinking in different terms. Because life becomes even precious as the years progress, I’m adding several reasons to remember a sense of gratitude in my list of resolutions.

First off, I’m grateful to my body. After years of despising its flaws, I’m realizing what an amazing gift this vehicle has given me. Although decidedly not the model’s figure I coveted in my youth, my body has provided me with years of health and a pain-free existence to enjoy all that life has to offer.

Secondly, I’m thankful to those who have chosen to be part of my life. Family and friends are true treasures. Their support, emotional and otherwise, has enriched my every experience beyond measure. We can count ourselves extremely fortunate if we’ve had a friend nearby to help us through our struggles and celebrate our triumphs. Women especially center much of our lives around our relationships–so these connections are precious gifts indeed.

Thirdly, I feel incredibly blessed to have reached the stage in my life where I’ve let go of numerous inconsequential thoughts and worries. I’m feeling more and more liberated to speak my mind and pursue my own goals. And I’m finally realizing that my authentic being is actually “good enough” just as I am.

My gratitude list could go on and on as, I’m sure, can yours. So, as we commence with our new New Year’s resolutions, let’s vow to continue it. The mere practice of writing five things you’re grateful for (large and small) each day expands your awareness of the true gifts in your life. And what better way to guarantee you will enjoy a happy New Year than by remembering your blessings each and every day?!