I wanted to share a book that my friend Carol Stanley wrote, “For Kids 59.99 and Over.” It was released on September 1, 2008 and is available on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, and Powell Books.com

Here’s how she describes it:

What is life like as we get towards or past 60?  There are many changes occurring in our lives.  Our kids, more than likely have left the nest (some of them may be returning).  It is a time to evaluate our health, eating habits, exercising programs and our life direction.  It is also a time for new goals and new adventures.  A major issue in today’s life is technology and dealing with it.  You know that push button exercise on the phone when trying to solve a problem.

 Life has changed and we must deal with it with joy, fun, acceptance and patience.

“For Kids 59.99 and Over” shares ideas on feeling good, sleeping better, dealing with our grown kids, friendships and how to get situated in a new environment.  It is never too late for a new business, a new adventure or even a new place to live.  This is a time of freedom, which in turn means decisions in many areas of our lives. Many of us have difficulty dealing with our changing bodies, a few new wrinkles and shorter lived energy.  There are solutions for many of these problems……So join me in my journey to find a more fulfilling and fun life.

By your fiftieth birthday, you’ve lived 18,250 days on the planet—and that’s not even counting leap year. So, it’s more important than ever to shake things up a bit. Otherwise those ruts might start running pretty deep and we can begin to feel like life is full of “been there and done that.”

Everyone likes to try something new from time to time. Novelty brings back our energy and gives us a fresh take on things. So, plan that adventure trip, join a class and study a new language, take up painting, or remodel the kitchen—but a facelift?

Although my own face is showing one or two not so tiny ruts, the facelift isn’t actually for me—it’s for Feisty! Yep, the old blog is getting a fresh new look and I can’t wait to see her all jazzed up.

My friend, Terri, aka the Pop Art Diva and amazingly talented artist, has designed Feisty’s new masthead. Terri also boasts a fun and wickedly wonderful sense of humor, so the design is colorful, bright, and full spunky reminders of the sixties.

So come on by in a couple of days and take a look. This old blog is going from drab to dynamo—and, of course, the attitude will be feistier than ever.

This is not a political blog. I figure, by the time you’ve made it to fifty, you’ve pretty much planted yourself on one side of the aisle or the other, or you’ve decided that you’re an independent and go with your current candidate of choice. In either case, it would be next to impossible to persuade a woman over fifty to throw away her beliefs and convert to the other side—not a lot of wishy-washy types in the menopausal set.  

However, I did come across a candidate who is so down to earth, so remarkably fresh in her outlook, so truly inspirational in her vision, and her stance on the issues is one we can all understand. In fact, she’s ONE OF US! Yes, this candidate is a woman who kissed her half-century birthday goodbye a while ago, and I don’t mean Hillary Clinton.

You are undoubtedly already well acquainted with her name and her likeness. In fact, every year when your birthday rolls around, I’m certain you receive several cards containing a personal message from her. With her unambiguous viewpoint and feisty take on life, she’s brightened many a boomer’s day.

Her name is Maxine and she has a blog called Hot Flash Central. You can check out her site to see her message or click here to view her stump speech. Either way, don’t miss the opportunity to view this lady in action—she’s got oodles of grey power and, better yet, she’s a hoot!

Many women over fifty complain they become more forgetful. In fact, some have affectionately dubbed this phenomenon “mental-pause,” and there are real physiological reasons behind it. There are estrogen receptors throughout your brain, including the hippocampus, and this is the part involved in certain aspects of memory. So, when estrogen levels drop, your brain and your ability for recall are affected.

In fact, I know this to be true in my own life. Things seem to be slipping through the cracks, and every day brings fresh surprises and more than a few awkward moments.  I have to run back to the store because I neglected to buy the milk, I forget names and stand mutely by when it’s obvious I should be making introductions, and, without my datebook, I wouldn’t remember any of my appointments. 

But, before you get too worried that your own gray matter is graying, check out this fun little test. It’s called “How Old is Your Brain?” I did and was pleasantly surprised. In fact, I’m beginning to feel my noggin literally popping with new and sprightly dendrites!

To play:

1.    Touch “start”

2.    Wait for 3, 2, 1

3.    Memorize the numbers’ positions on the screen, then click the circle from the smallest number to the biggest one.

4.    At the end of the game, the computer will gage the age of your brain.

Good Luck!!

Click here to start

For those of you my age, you’ll remember with fondness the name of Phyllis Diller’s husband. It’s lost in my memory bank (too many withdrawals by now) as to the reasons for such a moniker, but I love the name. So, you know I’m not writing about him.

No, I mean real fangs—well, not exactly “real.” But, I came upon a pair yesterday and they were doozies!

My husband and I had the unfortunate experience of getting a flat tire on the freeway. A piece of some type of metal garbage flew off a truck landing right in front of us. My husband didn’t have a chance to avoid it and, a few seconds later, we heard a loud “bang” and the car lurched to the right. Actually, we were very lucky because we were driving in the far right lane. So, we pulled off onto the shoulder of the road and immediately called for service.

About a half hour later, the tow truck appeared and out popped a burly looking young man. He appeared to know what he was doing and was polite and friendly. It was when he was pulling off the hubcap that I noticed it. He had a huge four or five inch tattoo of a skull on his inner forearm. Adding to the startling effect of this particular piece of artwork, rather than teeth—the skull boasted fangs.

Okay, call me judgmental and old, but my mind started reeling. Was there a serial killer, with a tire iron in his hand, kneeling right next to me? Was he some fugitive from justice who had forged documents so that he could get a legitimate job and blend in with the rest of society? Were my husband and I in mortal danger?

Thankfully, the answers to all these questions are probably “no,” but it does give one pause. Why in all of creation do the young folk of today plaster their bodies with these huge and disturbing designs? They certainly make going barefoot and growing out your underarm hair pale by comparison!

For those of you who are regular readers, you know that I’m all for celebrating growing older. Many women report that their happiest, most productive years are those past fifty. As far as I’m concerned, I’m more confident, more outspoken, and more assertive than ever before. I guess you might say that I’m feisty!

Nevertheless, there are some joys of youth that I miss—especially in summer. Remember going to the beach with your girlfriends, holding hands, and watching the waves slap the shore? What a delight!  

And then as you grew into your teens and twenties, the summer took on a whole new meaning. With short shorts and halter-tops, it became the season for flirting and hoping to attract that perfect beau who would set your heart to pounding.

And now that we boomers find ourselves on the far side of fifty, what does the season of sunshine bring to us? Actually, it’s a chance to return to our childhood and, once again, frolic in the waves. The view might be a bit different but the fun’s still there.

And that’s my bottom line!

I’ve blogged about this lady before. However, if you boomer gals are like me, then they’re one or two deficits in your memory bank. Repetition is comforting—actually it’s essential. Otherwise, each day would be filled with such twists and turns that I’d feel I had a recurring role on the Twilight Zone. But, I digress… back to the funny stuff. 

Mrs. Hughes is a hoot! She began her career as a comedienne at the tender age of forty, inspired by the sassy Phyllis Diller who took to the stage around the same age. These two ladies have some amazing courage… not to mention talent.

Although this old bod will never see forty again (and neither will Mrs. Hughes), she can serve as an inspiration for those of us seeking new careers in middle age. What could be more daunting than mounting the steps of the dais and delivering your first stand-up routine? Anything we might try would seem mild by comparison.

At any rate, I share her wonderful comedy with you once again. She recently appeared on The Late Show with Craig Ferguson and brought down the house. The clip takes about five minutes to view, so sit back, relax, and get ready to chuckle—better yet enjoy a hearty guffaw at this lady’s irreverent take on parenthood, marriage, and the joys of being an old broad. 

Our nation’s birthday is over—the parades have past by, the last of the potato salad is in the fridge, and the final firework has been detonated. And, we have an entire weekend left to bask in the sunshine and warmth of mid-summer—a great time to relax and enjoy ourselves.

Relaxation is important—especially for women over fifty. Overwork and over stress can be toxic to our bodies and our minds. A temperate, well-adjusted lifestyle, one that honors the need for restoration and renewal, is crucial for healthy living after the hormonal shifts of menopause.

In fact, the two main components of the body’s autonomic nervous system—the parasympathetic and the sympathetic nervous systems—are both greatly affected by stress. As the autonomic nervous system impacts every organ within the body, our thoughts and actions ultimately govern the workings of our heart, lungs, brain, digestive tract, and other vital organs. So too much stress can wreak havoc with our health—definitely not good at all!

Many boomers report they can no longer push themselves as they once did, and that they require more “down time.” Margaret Mead once remarked, “Leisure and the cultivation of human capacities are inextricably interdependent.” As Mead was the woman who identified the happy realities of menopausal zest, she realized, even the sauciest of postmenopausal women, needs a bit of rest and relaxation to revive and refresh.

So, take some time off; grab a good book and settle into your hammock for an afternoon’s read. You deserve to stretch out, ice tea in hand, and simply relax—summer is a terrific time to be on the feisty side of fifty!

I stopped in over at Feisty Side of Fifty to see what Eileen was up to and linked over to another blog to listen to an interview she did regarding menopause.  It was interesting and of course fun to hear her voice since we’ve only “chatted” via the Internet.

I appreciate Eileen’s point of view.  She is an optimist and chooses to see the bright side in life and to focus on the positive even in the midst of difficulties.  That is a healthy attitude to be sure.  But, I also found myself relating terribly to the interviewer,Bevery Mahone as she discussed the difficulties she had with depression while going through perimenopause.

Outside of the insomnia, I would have to say that the depression and mood swings have been one of the worst components of perimenopause for me.  So, when she talked about how it sapped her energy and enthusiasm for life, boy could I understand.  And it does.

I wish we could just take a happy pill and get through it all, but unfortunately, it is a time of life that we must walk through to get through.  There are no short cuts and there are no easy routes.  If you are one of the approximately 20% of women who have had no symptoms with your perimenopause, say your “amens’ and your ”hallelujahs” now, because the other 80% of us have likely taken them on for you.

I had to face up to the fact that my mood swings and depression were out of my hands and resorted to antidepressants for about two years.  I believe Time Magazine even did a piece on menopause and it was said that antidepressants were one of the best and easiest things you could do.  I concur.  It was difficult for me to take them because being the control freak that I am. I didn’t want to think that I couldn’t “will” myself out of the emotional ups and downs I was experiencing.

But the truth was, I couldn’t.  So, I swallowed my pride and the pill along with it and things improved greatly for me.  I am happy to say that I am beyond those very difficult days, but I still have the depressive, blues every month. 

When it hits, there is nothing I can do but ride it out.  I know what it is and that is helpful.  Walking helps and chocolate and wine don’t hurt either, but for the most part, just letting it run it’s course has been the best choice of action for me.

Depression is one of those things that people don’t like to admit to.  When everyone else around you seems to be coping, it is very difficult to feel that you are not.  But, the truth is, depression (and I’m not talking clinical depression) that we deal with in perimenopause is chemically and hormonally based.  You are not a failure at life if you struggle with it. 

I think sometimes just knowing that you are not alone in the struggle is extremely helpful as well.  So, menopause mavens, if you find yourself battling depression and can’t seem to shake it……..you are most definitely not alone and you are always welcome to dump your blues here at The Magnolia Diaires.   

In her book about women’s second adulthood, Inventing the Rest of Our Lives, Suzanne Braun Levine provides us with some exiting data concerning the aging brain. Dr. Francine Benes, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, has discovered that there is a growth spurt that takes place in the human brain around the age of fifty. Myelin, which is the fatty layer that covers nerve fibers, actually grows about fifty percent during this time. This coating is responsible for aiding the brain to more effectively synthesize life experiences and to enhance the ability to make thoughtful judgments and prudent decisions.  

Even better, the location of this growth spurt is found within the area of the cerebral cortex that is identified with emotional learning. Perhaps, as Levine suggests, this myelin growth factor may likely play a part in creating the highly revered trait we call wisdom.

So, next time we search for our car keys, call our son by the dog’s name, or forget to tell our husband his boss phoned, we have to remember that somewhere in our noggin there’s a whole heap of wisdom going on!