But the big news for society is of course that we’re the boomers—the mightiest generation to ever hit the planet—and we’re not taking any of that crap!

So there I am going about my business one day when I hear the familiar sound of my mail carrier’s truck. Hoping for a message from a friend, I race out to the mailbox as fast as my fifty-plus legs can take me. (Just to be clear, I don’t have fifty legs… I couldn’t quite figure out the correct word order—but I trust you get my drift.)

Rather than the anticipated letter, however, there in the pile of junk mail and ads was a message of another sort… one that took my breath away. It was from a magazine I hadn’t subscribed to in years. They wanted me back and must have decided upon some clever marketing scheme aimed at garnering my business.

Now my guess is that the author of this cunning ploy had to be young, probably male, and absolutely clueless because there on the outside of the envelope in great big bold print stood the words that burned my eyes like a hot poker: YOU QUALIFY FOR THE SENIOR CITIZEN OFFER—DETAILS INSIDE!

Yes, I’m proud of my generation. Yes, I’ve come to terms with most of the changes to my body and my looks brought on by age.  And, yes, I’m a champion for the feisty side of fifty. But PUH-LEASE, leave my mailbox alone! Keep your offers to yourself or this ol’ gal just might suggest where you can stuff ‘em.

Well, that’s my rant for the day—I’d love to hear yours. I know you’ve got them because, without a doubt, there’s a whole lot of reasons to get feisty once you’re on the far side of fifty!

Suzanne Braun Levine writes of the “Fertile Void,” that time in a woman’s life between first and second adulthood when every part of her reality seems to be in flux. Her mindset is shifting away from the cares and concerns of mothering young children, building a career, and attempting to behave like society’s ideal of the modern woman—you know… the one about doing and having it all. At 50, she still wants it all–but less according to society’s definition and more on her own terms.

Gloria Feldt describes the dilemma further by recognizing that our generation is the first to encounter these types of thoughts and issues. In a recent article in Life Goes Strong, Gloria reminds us: “We are the first generation of women to have been responsible for our financial security throughout most of our lives. We never thought we’d be trying—or needing—to craft new careers at 50, 60, and in today’s economy, even 70.”

Yet it is in second adulthood that many women discover their essence. We start to identify that which satisfies our personal drives and learn the keys to finding work that fulfills our hearts and minds. But sometimes we can use a little help along the way.

So for mentoring material that will provide you with answers to your own quest, I suggest you take a look at Gloria Feldt.com and Suzanne Braun Levine.com. These two amazing women have personally inspired me. To my mind, there are no better role models of the true power of womankind at its best.

Also, if you’re looking to find a new job or career, I invite you to take a look at Land the Job You Love: 10 Surefire Strategies for Jobseekers Over 50. Along with job search techniques, there are plenty of self-assessment exercises to help you choose the path to the livelihood that’s right for you.

January is mentoring month… so, if you need one, find one. And, if you’ve had one, take a little time to let her know what she’s meant to you. Especially in the years past 50, we can all use a boost of female empowerment to keep us feeling feisty!

So why not let your own voice be heard? Why not share your personal tale with a mass audience? If you’ve got an anecdote about aging and menopause, have I got the perfect forum for you!  Not Your Mother’s Book on Menopause will be your chance to contribute humorous, inspiring, and even edgy tales of how you’ve traveled that rather rocky road to true maturity.

There are some guidelines you’ll need to follow. Stories need to be true accounts, written in the first person, and between 500 and 1500 words. (There are a few additional requirements you’ll want to check out.) Otherwise, have fun; unleash all that creativity that blossoms in midlife and let menopause be your muse.

When you’ve finished, submit your story here—be sure to click on the book title for menopause. (When the book is published, a brief epilogue will appear after your story where you can share information about yourself, your blog, or additional activities you’d like to promote.)

So have at it and enjoy! Let’s let the world know that our flower power is now in full bloom. In fact, in true boomer fashion, our generation is taking the “pause” out of menopause. And Not Your Mother’s Book on Menopause will be a celebration of the ground-breaking, revolutionary, and very feisty side of fifty—won’t you add your voice to the revolution?

Seemingly everywhere one turned, there was a book or an article about this major life transition. Yet most of these pieces, informative as the were, spoke mainly of the discomfort of perimenopause and little of the wondrous freedom that comes with post-menopausal zest.

Suzanne Braun Levine and I have held many conversations on the topic. Suzanne is the former editor of Ms. magazine turned prolific author of books for women over 50. In fact, she’s just come out with her newest one, How We Love Now, Sex and the New Intimacy in Second Adulthood. Our latest discussion is a mere 15-minutes—well worth your time because Suzanne’s thoughts will resonate with you and deepen your perspective on your own journey through this remarkable stage of life.

In addition to enriching our relationships, the menopausal years provide us with numerous life-affirming freedoms. Many women report they’re happier in their third act than ever before.

Here are four freedoms that are true for me and, I’m guessing, for you as well:

The obvious—no more “feminine hygiene” products, uncomfortable bloating, or monthly mood swings. I often forget this freedom because I’ve now grown accustomed to feeling energetic and happy most every day of my life. However the cessation of one’s period is truly a cause for celebration.

Perspective—I’m freed from many of the worries of my youth. I no longer obsess about details, spend hours worrying that my words may have been misinterpreted, or feel wounded by a friend’s oversight. The realization that life is short is both a lesson in reality and immensely freeing. Perspective is truly one of the greatest gifts of age.

Learning to say “no”—This particular freedom is one Suzanne considers to be one of the most important of them all. As she puts it, it is only by learning to say “no” that our “yes” becomes authentic. In other words, we are now giving ourselves permission to “choose to” rather than to “have to.” This simple act of authenticity frees the individual and everyone in her circle of relationships… no more begrudging acceptance for us!

Learning to love myself—I’ve learned that I truly want to take care of my health, my wellbeing, and my-SELF.  As they say in the commercials, it’s “because I’m worth it!” No longer as concerned with how others may view me, I’m finally, finally realizing that I’m a valuable person in my own right. No more, “if I could just lose 10 pounds, I’d be attractive” thinking for me. I’ve become feisty!

So let’s share the good news with our younger sisters who are deep in the throes of perimenopause. Let’s let them know there is light at the end of the tunnel and, better yet, that light is big, bright, sassy, and incredibly freeing.

And be certain to check out Suzanne’s book—there’s no better way to celebrate love, sex, and the new intimacy than with an old broad’s sense of freedom!

Suzanne Braun Levine, longtime managing editor of Ms. magazine and author of several books for women over 50, joined me once again on Feisty Side of Fifty Radio to discuss the various ways we undergo a multi-dimensional metamorphosis in midlife.

In truth, the beginning of the big change often looks like we’re standing still. It’s almost as is we go into shock…frozen by the overwhelming and often competing drives and feelings that inhabit out psyches. Do we want to quit our job and pursue a different career that’s more in line with our newly forming passions? Are we willing to step outside of our carefully constructed persona and start speaking up with a forcefulness that might surprise our friends and family? Do we opt to end a long-term relationship, that may be growing stale, in favor of a new one providing novelty and excitement?

All of these questions and more create what Levine terms “the fertile void.” This is the uncomfortable, albeit critically important, period of rebirth. On the other side of the fertile void lives the powerful land of “no” and the increasing ability to “toot.”

Learning both of these skills (and they are learnable skills) are your tickets to moving forward into mastery—living in a state of what psychologist Abraham Maslow called “self-actualization.”

So take a break from the holidays and give yourself time to think about how YOU can conquer new territory, how YOU can create your own state of mastery, and how YOU can experience your own state self-actualization. Take a listen to what Suzanne has to say in our 15-minute interview, at her appearance on TEDx Women, and on her post at Huff/Post 50.

And, if you know a boomer who’s looking for work, be certain to let them know about my own articles on Huff/Post 50. “’Tis the Season… So Get Out There!” and “Seasons Greetings Can Land You the Job” are packed with job search tips and reasons why December is the BEST time of year to look for work!

Even the fires that once roasted our chestnuts may have dampened over the years. In fact, some in our generation might confess that a growing inability to locate their groove thing has rendered mistletoe to becoming merely another piece of hanging plant material—devoid of romantic properties and just one more thing to dust.

But, before we all start shouting, “BAH!” let’s consider some of the ways the holidaze can be fun and festive—

Grandchildren: The absolutely #1 reason to enjoy the season is through the eyes of your grandchildren. These precious objects of any granny’s affections are sure to add a glow to your check and put the magic back into the holidays. Their delight is more than enough to warm your heart in a big, big way!

Reconnecting: Even though writing cards can be a chore, it’s wonderful to hear from those who were once a part of our lives but now live in distant places. This annual custom of catching up on one another’s lives is one I treasure and, I’m guessing, you do, too.

Taking Time for Fun: Parties and gatherings abound at this time of year. Carving out time from overloaded schedules to relax and enjoy friends and family is truly a cause to make merry…as long as you can avoid the fruitcake!

You Get to Flaunt Your Feisty: If you want to add a bit of feisty to the mix, drop by the Feisty Boomer Boutique and pick up a groovy, one-of-a-kind gift for your friends or a special treat for yourself. This bountiful boomer selection includes mugs, tees, totes, and more with psychedelic designs that are guaranteed to recharge any recipient’s flower power.

So here’s a ho-ho-holiday toast to the season—despite the stress, the crowds, and the cold, it really can be the most wonderful time of the year!

But when the sun is shining and the top is down, nothing beats it. I even get the sense that the wind blowing against my skin gives me an instant facelift—so putting a little peddle to the metal (and, at my age, that means going over 35 mph) is a rejuvenating experience!

However, when the top is up, there is a decided blind spot created by the special design of the convertible’s ragtop. Even when using the side-mirrors, my visual field is limited. In fact I’ve experienced my share of near misses–so I’ve learned to be extra careful when changing lanes.

Interestingly, the limitations of my ragtop have recently become a metaphor for a life lesson I need to learn. I’m hoping this teaches me to employ the same caution I use while driving to my personal choices. I hadn’t realized how frequently my decisions fall under the limited vision created by my own blind spot.

Yes, I’m a self-confessed “assumer.” Although my intentions are good (at least I hope so), I’m prone to sometimes making rash judgments that fail to take into account all the potential ramifications. And sometimes these erroneous choices affect others.

Recently I did something I assumed would be fine… but it wasn’t. Thank goodness I perpetrated my faux pas upon one of my closest friends. Now that we’re older, more forthright, and menopausal, she spoke up and told me. What a gift!

Perhaps my personal life lesson might apply to you, too. As the end of the year is upon us and many of us tend to get reflective, it might be helpful to consider what you’re seeing in your own rear view mirror. Do you sometimes hold assumptions that lead to faulty decision-making? Are you guilty of coming to rash conclusions? Do you have a blind spot that may be affecting the way your choices impact family and friends in your own life?

As for me… my early New Year’s resolution is short but meaningful: assume less and ask more. That way the next time I change lanes in my personal life, I’ll be proceeding with necessary caution. Hopefully this life lesson, similar to driving my beloved midlife crisis car, will help me avoid those accidental errors that just might lead to a crash.

I don’t know about you, but in my case this time of year always brought on feelings of stress: too little time with too much to do. Our family’s birthdays cluster in November and December and only added to the shopping, wrapping, mailing, card-sending, cooking, baking, cleaning, decorating, and entertaining that’s already part and parcel of the season. (Wow! Even typing this list makes my shoulders rise and my breathing begin to come in gasps of air.)

Now, however, I’ve either eliminated or vastly cut down on all of the above. So here are a few more reasons why I feel grateful to be a woman over 50:

The gift of balance: What a giant relief it is to no longer buy into the belief that we need to do it all. At our age, we don’t have to feel responsible for creating the perfect setting, purchasing the perfect gifts, and making certain everyone has a warm and wonderful time. The fate of our children’s holiday memories is no longer in our hands. They’re creating memories of their own and, if we’re lucky enough to be included, all the better. But major merry-making duties have been passed to the next generation. And a giant Ho-Ho-Ho to that!

The gift of rest: We can (and need) to take time away from the hustle and bustle of the season. Shopping for hours and standing in long lines makes my back hurt and my varicose veins start to throb. So, at this age, my body’s signals that it needs rest can no longer be ignored. I used to believe I could keep going for hours and would feel guilty if I didn’t. Looking back, I’m not sure what I accomplished beyond giving myself what I called “Christmas neck.” By the time my neck got so stiff I couldn’t turn my head, I’d allow myself time off. What the heck did I think was so important it couldn’t wait? So here’s another big Ho-Ho-Ho for taking time to hop into bed whenever we feel the need for a long winter’s nap.

The gift of the holiday spirit: How wonderful it is to recognize the true gifts of the season. Now that I’ve pared my holiday chores down to a manageable size, I’ve created room to remember what the holidays are all about. Having the perfect garland draped flawlessly on the mantel backlit by precisely placed candlesticks…not so much. Getting down on the floor to play with your grandchildren…that’ll make your eyes twinkle for sure!

So here’s to a stress-free holiday season that’s filled with gifts that truly matter. And aren’t we lucky to be women over 50, who now know the difference!

In my last post, I wrote about L’Oreal’s ridiculous photograph of Diane Keaton claiming how comfortable she felt in her own skin. Problem was…there was precious little that resembled Diane’s own skin in that so-called “photo.” Facially altered almost beyond recognition, I bet the actress herself could barely make out her own likeness in that ad. Therefore, instead of finding “comfort in one’s own skin,” the words “bogus,” “demeaning,” and “insulting” came to mind for me.

The day after I spotted that particular ad that had so enraged me, I got even angrier. I watched the remarkable and important documentary, Miss Representation… and it all began to make sense. For years, marketers have tried to make us feel bad about ourselves. They figure, if they can present enough images of women with perfect faces and bodies, we’ll realize how flawed we are by comparison. Then, as our media induced insecurities grow ever stronger; we’ll spend precious dollars buying their products in hopes of fixing the defects Mother Nature bestowed upon our own imperfect features.

Miss Representation went on to show how, in years past, marketers achieved their ends by hiring glamorous models. They’d have these celestial creatures spend hours in hair and make-up and then bring in top-notch photographers to take hundreds of photos in hopes of catching just the one with the right look. Such contrived and nearly perfect images were enough to get us feeling bad about ourselves… and running to the nearest cosmetics counter.

But today’s technology has added a new and even more ominous wrinkle. Now the wily arbiters of beauty and fashion have the ability to enhance features and faces, removing any traces of the slightest physical flaw with the mere click of a mouse. Moreover, even the most beautiful of models and actresses can’t compete with digital perfection—take a look at what they did to Diane Keaton.

As Miss Representation pointed out, these blatantly deceptive practices go a long way to diminish the already fragile self-esteem of many teenage girls. But, rather astoundingly, they’re trying to do the same thing to us. Visible aging is a fear held many by women—therefore playing upon this fear and making us feel inadequate and “over the hill” is a virtual goldmine for the cosmetic companies.

So rather than falling for their devious methods and allowing them make us feel bad about our looks, let’s come together and use that energy to reignite our revolutionary spirit. Let’s draw upon our famous boomer bravado and shout “enough!” Let’s let vote with our wallets and not be buffaloed into thinking we’re “less than” because we have a wrinkle or two. And, finally, let’s educate our daughters, our granddaughters, and ourselves and watch Miss Representation. The documentary is playing on OWN. I urge you to view this truly incredible film with the women and girls you love. Then go to Miss Representation.org and take the pledge.

We boomers have worked hard in support of gender parity and the rights of all citizens. Let’s not waste precious time allowing the media to weaken our personal power and reduce our sense of ourselves as mature and attractive women through their photo-shopping ways. We’re way too with-it and wise (not to mention feisty) to fall for their underhanded ads. Feeling diminished and bad about ourselves is not only a waste of time; it’s a waste of the most important and vital years of our lives.

You’d think the so-called marketing experts who hawk their wares in hopes boomers will buy them would finally get it. But too many times they’re waaaay off the mark—they seem to focus solely on the youth mourners. What a waste!

This hit me full force when I was in a doctor’s office, thumbing through the magazines, and waiting to be called in for my check-up. There was an ad by L’Oreal that caught my eye—and not in a good way. Actually I found it appalling. It featured Diane Keaton claiming to feel more comfortable in her own skin now that she’s older.

I’d have gone along with her sentiments if the photo attached actually were Diane Keaton… in her own skin!!!! But there, in all its full-color glory, was an airbrushed rendition of the actress so completely unlike Diane I had to adjust my readers to make certain the photo and the name matched. New eyes, new nose, new smile, no wrinkles—not the Diane I recognized. Moreover, the hand resting jauntily on her chin bore no signs of veins, age spots, or any of the telltale markers that Diane’s darling digits had ever seen the light of day. Now I do know she likes to wear gloves, but come on!

Do the folks at L’Oreal really think we’re gonna fall for this computer-contrived idiocy? Do they really believe we think we’ll get a slimmer nose, reshaped eyes, lifted brows and lids, whitened smile, fuller lips, no neck-lines, and vein-free hands from a jar of cream? Do they figure we’re senile as well as desperate?

If you want to check this out for yourself, compare the L’Oreal photo with images from her 2003 film, Something’s Gotta Give. Or just click the video link at the left of the ad and see Diane—lovely and well-lit to mask any lines—but real.

The afore-mentioned ad raised my hackles so much that this old dog is ready to growl. If you feel as I do, let’s let ‘em know. Let’s boycott products that send such blatantly insulting messages.

We’re over 50, we’ve earned our lines, and we’re way too sophisticated and smart to buy into the offensive, ridiculous and moronic ads the cosmetic companies seem to think we want. And, Diane, if you’ve had major work done… get off the ad campaign and stop misleading us about feeling comfortable in your skin—especially when the photo version of “your skin” is pulled tighter than a snare drum on the 4^th of July. Your boomer sisters have followed your career all these years and we expect better from you!