Sometimes growing older can bring on feelings of depression. If you’re a woman over fifty, you’ve undoubtedly had to face some less than happy realities. The body you inhabit has likely wrinkled and widened, dearly held relationships have grown distant and sour, and cherished loved ones have passed away. The holidays, a notoriously happy time of year, can actually bring on feelings of loss and sadness as we contemplate how our lives have changed with the passing of time.

So, if you’re feeling the holiday blues, I’d like to make a small suggestion. You might want to check out the work of Dr. Martin Seligman. He’s a well-known psychologist and author of several books. His site is called “Authentic Happiness” and his mission is to promote the field of Positive Psychology. Rather than focusing on an individual’s pathology, Seligman looks towards all things positive.

There are a variety of free questionnaires you can take that measure various personality traits relating to the art of happiness. These include scales on general happiness, optimism, gratitude, and overall life satisfaction. There are also several resources, articles, and newsletters you can access at no charge. Seligman’s site is one of the most valuable I’ve found, and it can get you thinking in new and positive ways. I encourage you to check it out—especially if you’re feeling stressed and out of sorts, two common emotions that surface during “the season to be jolly.”

Who knows? Following Seligman’s advice might be the first step to changing your mood and your inner reality. Plus, there’s a huge bonus to being happy: studies show that happy people live up to nine years longer than those who are chronically depressed. So, here’s to a hearty “ho-ho-ho” and to the enjoyment of authentically happy holidays!  

I stopped in over at Feisty Side of Fifty to see what Eileen was up to and linked over to another blog to listen to an interview she did regarding menopause.  It was interesting and of course fun to hear her voice since we’ve only “chatted” via the Internet.

I appreciate Eileen’s point of view.  She is an optimist and chooses to see the bright side in life and to focus on the positive even in the midst of difficulties.  That is a healthy attitude to be sure.  But, I also found myself relating terribly to the interviewer,Bevery Mahone as she discussed the difficulties she had with depression while going through perimenopause.

Outside of the insomnia, I would have to say that the depression and mood swings have been one of the worst components of perimenopause for me.  So, when she talked about how it sapped her energy and enthusiasm for life, boy could I understand.  And it does.

I wish we could just take a happy pill and get through it all, but unfortunately, it is a time of life that we must walk through to get through.  There are no short cuts and there are no easy routes.  If you are one of the approximately 20% of women who have had no symptoms with your perimenopause, say your “amens’ and your ”hallelujahs” now, because the other 80% of us have likely taken them on for you.

I had to face up to the fact that my mood swings and depression were out of my hands and resorted to antidepressants for about two years.  I believe Time Magazine even did a piece on menopause and it was said that antidepressants were one of the best and easiest things you could do.  I concur.  It was difficult for me to take them because being the control freak that I am. I didn’t want to think that I couldn’t “will” myself out of the emotional ups and downs I was experiencing.

But the truth was, I couldn’t.  So, I swallowed my pride and the pill along with it and things improved greatly for me.  I am happy to say that I am beyond those very difficult days, but I still have the depressive, blues every month. 

When it hits, there is nothing I can do but ride it out.  I know what it is and that is helpful.  Walking helps and chocolate and wine don’t hurt either, but for the most part, just letting it run it’s course has been the best choice of action for me.

Depression is one of those things that people don’t like to admit to.  When everyone else around you seems to be coping, it is very difficult to feel that you are not.  But, the truth is, depression (and I’m not talking clinical depression) that we deal with in perimenopause is chemically and hormonally based.  You are not a failure at life if you struggle with it. 

I think sometimes just knowing that you are not alone in the struggle is extremely helpful as well.  So, menopause mavens, if you find yourself battling depression and can’t seem to shake it……..you are most definitely not alone and you are always welcome to dump your blues here at The Magnolia Diaires.