In How We Love Now, Suzanne Braun Levine writes of longtime friendships and the special bond of reconnecting with people who “knew you when.” The joy of sharing mutual memories of early fashion statements gone awry, excruciating first dances, and the pains and pleasures of adolescence is a treasured experience for each of us who’s is lucky enough to connect with a childhood friend.

But even with the best of friends, things can happen. We get our feelings hurt, our interests change, or we simply drift apart. Sadly, some friendships can even turn toxic. Suzanne and I explored the multi-layered topic of female friendship on Feisty Side of Fifty radio. Always insightful, Suzanne gave me more than a few “aha moments.” I invite you to take 15-minutes and listen for yourselves.

Suzanne will be making a number of appearances in the next several weeks. Be sure to check her website to see when she’ll be in your area. Her presentation will be one you won’t forget and she welcomes connections with new feisty friends so be sure to say hello.

Also be certain to take a look at “The Conversation Continues” an article about Suzanne’s presentation at TedxWomen. Describing The Fertile Void, Suzanne hit all the notes (high and low) about this major transition and had the audience laughing with recognition as well as having several of their own aha moments.

Celebrating the feisty side of fifty is all the richer with good friends beside us. And it’s great to have a special friend, Suzanne Braun Levine, along to give us a roadmap of all we’re experiencing now and the many good things to come.

But I’m not surprised. Although I was never fortunate enough to have visited the offices of Ms. magazine, I’ve got an educated guess that openness, truth telling, and an unconditional positive regard for one another underscored all they accomplished. Moreover, these women walked their talk. The stated feminist goal of bettering the lives of all people and treating each individual as worthy of respect could not have been more real. How can I claim to know these things? Well… I’ve been lucky.

Because of this blog and my radio show, I’ve had the unbelievably good fortune to get to know a couple of the founding members of Ms. magazine. Suzanne Braun Levine, longtime Editor of Ms., and Karin Lippert, Promotions Director of the groundbreaking periodical, have each graciously shared their support and their friendship. Furthermore, both these women continue their commitment to enhancing the female experience and providing us all with a better life: Suzanne through her books for women over fifty and Karin through her personal fundraising for the “Weekend to End Women’s Cancers.” (These are just a couple of the ways Suzanne and Karin continue to contribute.)

Ms. was far more than a magazine—it represented a movement that changed each of our lives far more than we could ever have realized at the time. So, if you missed the initial airing of Gloria: In Her Own Words, be certain to check your HBO listings or watch the program on demand. This retrospective is living history at its best. And, while you’re at it, take a little time to recall the days when you were openly blocked from entering a number of top universities, when you couldn’t buy a house or even get a credit card without a male signature, and when your career options (should you be so bold as to have a career) consisted of the wildly varied choice of three: teacher, nurse, or secretary.

Yes, we owe a lot to the women of Ms. They were known for telling truth to power but, as you’ll see in the documentary, their real strength came in simply telling the truth. The female worldview, as Gloria Steinem so beautifully represents, encompasses the courage to be open, vulnerable, and admit mistakes.

Ours is the polar opposite of the hero’s journey—a solitary affair allowing few, if any, visible chinks in the armor. The heroine’s journey includes plenty of chinks. It also includes humanity as a whole. As Gloria frequently stated in the film, she was not alone. She had her sisters at Ms. and, indeed, women everywhere by her side. So tune in and take a little time to celebrate Gloria, the ladies of Ms., and the Women’s Movement. It is through the unwavering dedication of these brave pioneers that you and I have come a long way, baby!

By the time we’ve reached our fifties and beyond, we’ve gone through a lot. We’ve lost loved ones to death and through the breaking of relationship ties. We’ve endured injured pride, damaged self-esteem, and crushing disappointments. We have sustained significant blows to the ego through painful experiences of rejection. And we’ve seen our nest empty—watching our loved ones and ourselves grow older. We need our friends now more than ever.

There is strength in numbers; there is power in the union. How many times have we struggled with a problem and, just as we throw up our hands in frustration and near-defeat, a devoted friend comes up with the perfect solution. Often we are too close to our own issues to be able to see them clearly. A good friend, however, cares for our best interests and, at the same time, is one step removed. She can often see the big picture, stand up for us when we can’t stand up for ourselves, and make sure our needs are met—or, at the very least, provide us with a really good laugh.

In fact, there is scientific proof that friendships play a vital and critical role in the lives of women. Repeatedly, studies have shown that those ladies with very few or limited friendships are not as healthy—nor do they live as long—as others who enjoy a wider circle of supportive friends and deeper, more meaningful relationships.

And, there’s no greater treasure than to find acceptance and love for our authentic selves… imperfect and flawed as we may be. In fact, rich and deep friendships that have endured over time may be the greatest gift our years bring us. So, as we enjoy the lazy, hazy days of summer, why not share the sunshine with a good and true friend? Such special times just might feed your soul, make you want to kick up your heels, and renew the feisty in you!

It all began with one of those TV shows where a research expert finds long lost relatives and friends of people seeking resolution to important relationships in their lives. (I’m a sucker for the heartwarming stuff, so these types of programs appeal to me.) At any rate, it started me thinking that I could do my own research and begin looking for people who’d meant a lot to me, but with whom I’d lost touch over the years.

One name in particular stood out so I started with him. We’d become friends when I, along with several other college classmates, spent our sophomore year abroad. Having taken up residence in a small seaside town in the former Yugoslavia, we soon formed close friendships with the students living there. Although the time we spent in that town was only a brief six months (one semester), the experience changed our lives. Many of us kept in touch with the friends we’d made.

I, however, am not the best correspondent so I lost all of my connections with these far-off relationships. Then came the horrific war that tore the nation apart. I knew this particular friend lived in one of the most bombed and beleaguered cities of them all. I feared he may have been injured or killed and desperately wanted news. But, this being the early ‘90s, it was a long time before the power of the Internet landed in our hands. So I was left to wonder. In fact, we’d had no contact for more than forty years.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. Inspired by that TV show and having some time on my hands, I decided to see if I could find out what had happened to him. So I googled his name and, after several minutes of searching, voila—I couldn’t believe it! There he was, alive and well, and with an email address to boot!

Amazing but true…the Internet can serve up some incredible and almost unbelievable a-ha moments. So if you have someone you’ve been wondering about, why not give it a try? You have nothing to lose and a world of friendships to gain. My friend and I are back in touch and, as far as I’m concerned, we plan to stay that way.

As we used to say in the good old days, “power to the people.” Rather than an amorphous, inhuman web of bits and bytes floating in cyberspace, the Internet can become your source of people power beyond your greatest expectations. In fact, creating your own modern day miracle could be as simple as a click of a mouse away. And it’s true that, once you’re on the feisty side of fifty, there’s nothing more miraculous than reconnecting with a dear old friend!

The nostalgic draw to occasionally revel in these loving memories may be universal but few can claim that the object of their affectionate reveries was named John F. Kennedy Junior. Christina Haag is one of a very small handful of women to have known him in that way and their relationship went on for years.

In her recently released book, Come to the Edge, Christina shares her memories of an impulsive and boyishly charming young man whose life was, in many ways, not his own. They met while they were in prep school, renewed their friendship at Brown University (where they were housemates), and became romantically involved a few years later when they were both cast in an off-Broadway play.

With beautifully written prose, Christina describes their first kiss, their numerous adventures together (yes, he was a risk-taker), and her relationship with his iconic mother. I had the great pleasure of interviewing Christina about the book and I invite you to spend 15-minutes and hear her memories for yourself.

Most boomers would agree that no other family rivaled the Kennedys when it came to making an impact on our generation. Whether it was the assassinations of John and Bobby that instigated our protests or the Peace Corp headed up by Sargent Shriver that ignited our “save the world” spirit, they were a driving force in our youth and the years that followed. Come to the Edge is an intimate look at the young prince of Camelot and his all-too-short life. Most of all, it’s a tender tribute to the promise of young love—something each of us can relate to.

There’s one special club that embodies our celebrated joie de vivre and legendary spunk, and this remarkable organization has become the largest women’s social club in the world. Although attendance at this group’s events will have you seeing red, members are encouraged to pursue the five F’s: fun, friendship, freedom, fulfillment, and fitness. (I might suggest a sixth F—for feistiness. That particular descriptor may have been officially omitted, but it’s certainly implied.)

The Red Hat Society is dedicated to reshaping the way women are viewed in today’s culture and, in pursuit of this mission, has created an impressive legacy of achievements. One of the most recent accomplishments this legendary club can boast is inclusion in the premier cultural collection of the land: The Smithsonian Institution! Yes, the original red fedora purchased by founder Sue Ellen Cooper as well as her purple-feather boa are now nattily displayed in all their colorful glory.

Sue Ellen, the Exalted Queen Mother herself, and Debra Granich, CEO of the Red Hat Society, have graciously shared their thoughts on what it means to wear the eye-catching combo of red and purple in a recent interview on Feisty Side of Fifty Radio. Be certain to tune in to this very special broadcast with these two remarkable women.

In fact, you won’t want to miss a single word. With advice such as “gaudy is good” and “give yourself a title and call yourself a queen” you know these women are celebrating the feisty side of fifty. In the oh-so-colorful fashion befitting the boomers’ spirit and style of aging, the Red Hat Society is one fabulous group. And, better yet, there’s not a single invisible shrinking violet in sight!

One of the first I came into contact with was Nava Atlas. Author, artist, and all around creative genius, this woman is a powerhouse of ideas. She started out her writing career by developing vegetarian recipes and has created a slew of fabulous cookbooks. However, she didn’t stop with these—far from it. Check out her site and you’ll find a generous list of delicious recipes and, while you’re there, click on the link to her art site as well.

Another women I met through the web is a lovely lady from England: Chris Moon-Willems. Chris has gathered together a panel of experts from both sides of the Atlantic and is offering a free telesummit entitled “Talking Prime Time Women.” I’m more than excited to have been selected as the career expert and will be presenting my thoughts on “Your Midlife Career Makeover.” The telesummit goes live on November 8^th so be certain to sign up for this very special event. I’ll be interviewing Chris on Feisty Side of Fifty radio on the 3^rd and will share more information at that time.

One more friend who’s great at inspiring women to achieve their dreams is life coach and advisor, Christine Laureano. She’s holding a special “Women’s Mind & Money Bootcamp” starting November 16th where she’ll share the tools you’ll need to make your life a prosperous one. This class is also free so be sure to check it out.

And, finally, I’ve had the great privilege of connecting with two extraordinary women who have not only changed my life personally but have impacted the lives of countless women around the world. Suzanne Braun Levine and Karin Lippert, both members of the original staff of Ms. Magazine, have devoted their entire professional lives to supporting the cause of women’s rights. Each and every one of us can thank them for the abundance of opportunities women now enjoy. Although we still have a long way to go, these two are tireless in their efforts to make things right and fair for both genders. I’m honored to know them and am especially grateful that they’ve cited Feisty Side of Fifty as one of their favorite blogs.

The circles of our female friendships run deep and touch us in ways other relationships cannot. So venture out into cyberspace and meet someone new. The women’s worldwide web is not only packed with lots of helpful (and often free) information—it’s truly a friendly place indeed!

We, however, tend to do things differently. After years of nurturing and giving to others, midlife is a time when we chose to focus on our own goals and dreams and begin to express ourselves in new and creative ways. At long last, we’re choosing to “do unto ourselves as we’ve been doing unto others.” The author of this quote is Gloria Steinem and her good friend and longtime editor at MS. magazine, Suzanne Braun Levine, and I discussed this very idea in the first installment of our ongoing monthly radio series.

So much has been said about happiness recently. Yet Suzanne believes this particular word does not cover the depth and complexity of the transformation we experience at midlife. Perhaps a more all-encompassing term would be “fulfillment.” And a large part of feeling fulfilled for women is sharing our lives with our female friends. In truth, as we’re doing unto ourselves, we’re hardwired to want to share our journey with those closest to us. As Suzanne puts it: “A circle of trust is a must.”

I invite you to take a brief 15 minutes from your day to listen to this enlightening conversation. You’ll come away feeling both informed and inspired. As always, Suzanne shares her special insight into the changes and challenges today’s women face as we continue to revolutionize the spirit and style of aging.

The first topic Suzanne discussed was the often difficult but necessary lesson of learning to say “no.” This simple two-letter word, rather than a sign of being churlish and uncooperative, can actually represent an act of bravery and authenticity. It is one of the first signs of growing into second adulthood and creating a new and more truthful edition of ourselves.

As younger women, we often go along and agree to things we may not care to do so as not to rock the boat. Even our brains are hardwired to avoid conflict and confrontation. But one of the gifts of midlife and our changing hormones is the fact that we can and will say “no.” And, as Suzanne points out, it is by representing our feelings and ourselves more honestly, that we can truly embrace the times we say “yes” with a full and willing heart.

The second in our series was all about the joys of female friendships: “A Circle of Trust is a Must.” I’ve written about friendships many times on Feisty Side of Fifty and Suzanne suggests that these all-important relationships grow even stronger with age.

In our youth, we may consider one another rivals. Women often compare ourselves according to our looks, our earning power, the men in our lives, our children’s success and a whole host of variables. As we age, however, many of those earlier feelings of insecurity and envy drop away. We mature and recognize the strength of the bonds we share.

Moreover, as we’ve learned to say “no” and express our feelings more truthfully, our friendships become more authentic as well. So take a listen to our latest interview and celebrate the special women in your life. After all, a circle of trust is a must and what better way to celebrate the years past fifty than spending time with your women friends–a very feisty and friendly thing to do!

As we grew into our teen years, we anxiously awaited the several minutes of the Ed Sullivan show dedicated to the mop-top soldiers of the British Invasion. Herman’s Hermits, Jerry and the Pacemakers, The Rolling Stones and, of course, the Beatles made us scream, grow weak at the knees, and writhe about the couch with our Clearasil creamed faces red with emotion. Our love and devotion were passionate beyond measure and, had we ever run across a mod or a rocker with a Liverpudlian accent, we could not have been held responsible for our actions!

No doubt about it—entertainment was a big part of our formative years. But even I was surprised at how the hours I spent viewing the tube have returned full force in my menopausal years. Maybe it’s a sign my brain is shrinking or maybe it’s a yearning for simpler times but I find myself thinking a lot about Popeye these days. Yes, I do like spinach and know that antioxidants and the other valuable nutrients it provides are important nourishment for older bodies. But it isn’t spinach I connect to him. I gave up smoking long ago so it isn’t his corncob pipe that intrigues me. Actually, I relate mostly to something he said: “I yam what I yam.” That is coming back to me big time these days!

As a woman over fifty, I think I represent how most of us feel when I say Popeye knew what he was talking about. It took me a while but I’m feeling more and more that “I yam what I yam” with all my glorious foibles and faults, strengths and achievements. And, although my sense of self is at an all time high, I also heed the words of the Fab Four—we can each use and often need “a little help from our friends.”

So, many thanks go out to my friends for being there and supporting me and my work. My book for jobseekers over 50 has been featured on Midlife With a Vengeance and WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty and will be hitting other blogs soon. Please take a moment to head over to these fabulous sites dedicated to making us boomer gals even groovier as we age.

Also, for my writer friends, there’s a contest I wanted to share: WriterAdvice seeks flash fiction, memoir, and creative non-fiction that mesmerizes the reader in 750 words or less for their Fifth Annual Flash Prose Contest. DEADLINE: April 15, 2010. Entry fee: $10 per submission. First prize: $150. Former prizewinners are the judges. Complete guidelines, mailing address, and prizes at http://www.writeradvice.com.

And, borrowing another quote from the sailor man: “Blow me down—I has got an idea!” A tip o’ the cap to all my boomer sisters—at long last “we is what we is!”