• Have you ever fibbed about your age?
• Is the weight on your driver’s license off by more than a few pounds?
• How do you respond to the most dreaded question a friend can ever ask: “Does this dress make me look fat?”

If you’re like the rest of us, you may be less than truthful with your responses to these and other difficult questions. According to an article in Psychology Today, a recent study showed that people told an average of 1.65 lies per day. (The author, however, disagreed with the findings believing that number was grossly underreported. In fact, he thought the respondents were lying about their lying!)

Another study conducted in Britain showed that men lie twice as often as women—confessing to a commanding six lies per day as compared to a mere three for the female of the species. The most frequently uttered fib? “Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine” made the top of the list for both genders.

There are several reasons why we lie. To name a few, these include circumstances such as: we’re embarrassed to share the truth about ourselves or those close to us, we want to spare our friends’ feelings, we want to get out of doing something we don’t want to do, or we want to avoid issues and topics that could lead to uncomfortable conversations.

Now I consider myself an honest person. Nevertheless I do confess to “stretching the truth a bit” from time to time. And, to be totally honest (if you’ll believe me), I share some of my biggest tall tales with myself… You know the ones like “I’ll open the bag of chips but only eat a few” or “I’ll check out the sale but won’t buy anything.” Worst of all, I’m a huge sucker—I’ve fallen for my own fabrications more often than I care to admit!

I found a fascinating presentation on the subject by Lie Spotting author, Pamela Meyer. This human lie detector came up with some remarkable ways to tell when someone is lying to us. If you’re interested (and who wouldn’t be?) Pamela shares both verbal and nonverbal clues with video clips to make her points.

After viewing Pamela’s highly informative talk, I’ll be checking my mirror more often. The next time I tell myself to head for the bag of chips… I’ll take a good long look at my body language and check for the telltale signs I’m telling myself another whopper!

In most ways, we were right. Our gender has gone on to make major inroads in both the private and the public sectors. No longer chained to the kitchen, we’ve traded in our aprons for tool belts and computer chips, and moved from charity bake sales to the trading floors of Wall Street.

Nevertheless, in other ways, women can never compete with men. Men are just downright better off. If you don’t believe the previous statement, here are several reasons why the guys have it so great:

• Same work, more pay.
• They get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• Wrinkles add character.
• They can open all of their own jars.
• Car mechanics tell them the truth.
• Their underwear is  $8.95 for a three-pack.
• The same hairstyle and clothes last for years, maybe decades.
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• They can play with toys all of their life.
• They can wear shorts no matter how their legs look.
• They only have to shave their face and neck.
• They have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

And my personal favorite…

• The world is their urinal. They never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky!!!

But the issue that affects our quality of life more than any other is almost always forgotten. In fact, it’s omitted from the list of most people’s New Year’s resolutions. Even those of us who concern ourselves with health issues at midlife make light of it, joke about it (see the cartoon below), and yet secretly fear the malfunction of this vital organ more than any other.

Since our brain rules every aspect of our bodies: memories, thoughts, emotions, and connections to both our outer and inner worlds, doesn’t it deserve at least one New Year’s resolution focused on keeping it healthy? I think so… and am resolving to spend a minimum of 10 minutes a day for 4 or 5 days a week keeping my oft-neglected noggin in working order.

I’ve recommended several books on this blog, but aside my own, Land the Job You Love, I’ve never officially advertised anything. That is, until I created the link to Lumosity. I wholeheartedly recommend taking a look at this site.

Their entertaining, varied, and FUN brain exercises are based on extensive research and cutting-edge science from such prestigious institutions as Stanford, Harvard, Columbia, and UCSF.  Based on the principle of neuroplasticity (the brain’s lifelong ability to reshape neural connections), there is now clinical evidence that we can greatly enhance our cognitive functions—no matter how old we are.

Adding to the science behind their games, another great thing about Lumosity is the cost. I’ve seen other brain game programs advertised at significant expense—but Lumosity is literally just pennies a day. So give yourself a real treat in 2012 and click the link in the left margin to find out more. You can give it a free test run so you have nothing to lose.

And let’s remember this thought in 2012: there can be no better celebration of the years past 50 than to keep your synapses sassy and firing in a very feisty way… so make a resolution to do just that!

When the ball in Times Square dropped to signify yet another January 1st had rolled around, I realized I could no longer take my life for granted. At our age, we well understand there are no guarantees in life. Nevertheless, we still find ourselves believing we’re invincible. This New Year, however, the sheer number of days I’ve existed on the planet has me thinking in different terms. Because life becomes even precious as the years progress, I’m adding several reasons to remember a sense of gratitude in my list of resolutions.

First off, I’m grateful to my body. After years of despising its flaws, I’m realizing what an amazing gift this vehicle has given me. Although decidedly not the model’s figure I coveted in my youth, my body has provided me with years of health and a pain-free existence to enjoy all that life has to offer.

Secondly, I’m thankful to those who have chosen to be part of my life. Family and friends are true treasures. Their support, emotional and otherwise, has enriched my every experience beyond measure. We can count ourselves extremely fortunate if we’ve had a friend nearby to help us through our struggles and celebrate our triumphs. Women especially center much of our lives around our relationships–so these connections are precious gifts indeed.

Thirdly, I feel incredibly blessed to have reached the stage in my life where I’ve let go of numerous inconsequential thoughts and worries. I’m feeling more and more liberated to speak my mind and pursue my own goals. And I’m finally realizing that my authentic being is actually “good enough” just as I am.

My gratitude list could go on and on as, I’m sure, can yours. So, as we commence with our new New Year’s resolutions, let’s vow to continue it. The mere practice of writing five things you’re grateful for (large and small) each day expands your awareness of the true gifts in your life. And what better way to guarantee you will enjoy a happy New Year than by remembering your blessings each and every day?!

Here’s the story:

If you read the recent front page story in the San Francisco Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso and a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallon Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off; the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her. They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.

When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushing them gently around as she was thanking them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth said her eyes were following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude. I pass this on to you, my friends, in the same spirit.

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard trained neuro-anatomist. At the age of 37, she suffered a massive stroke that, for years, significantly compromised the left hemisphere of her brain. During her long recovery period, Dr. Taylor’s training kicked-in and she became both the patient and the observer of the experience. Although locked inside her head (which, at first, was no longer able to recognize speech or even remember her own name), Dr. Taylor experienced a euphoric state of wellbeing. Her spirit grew to merge with the universal whole and she felt a sense of inner peace she’d never known–such feelings reside in the right hemisphere of the brain, which, by necessity, took over.

My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey is Dr. Taylor’s intimate and inspiring story of her remarkable experience. The book is filled with thought-provoking revelations, tender moments, and extraordinary life lessons. I cannot begin to describe how touching and transformative this work truly is.

Out of all the universal truths in Dr. Taylor’s book, one life lesson stood out for me—the “90-second rule.” As Dr. Taylor put it, when one’s flight or fight response is triggered, there are certain reactions taking place in the limbic system of the brain that activate feelings such as fear and anger. But, she goes on to state, these physiological responses last only 90 seconds. After that, the chemicals of fear and anger are flushed from the bloodstream.

This lesson is profound. It means every time I’ve harbored a perceived slight, a wounding of my spirit, feelings of resentment, and anger or rage, I’ve chosen to do so! Whether consciously or unconsciously I’m choosing thoughts that will replay the flight/fight circuitry in my brain, causing a truly vicious cycle.

Therefore, unhappiness, bitterness, resentment, and anger are the results of choices we’ve made to replay old tapes that trigger chemicals of these feelings to re-release in our bloodstream. And, the more you play them, the stronger they can become. Amazing! I’ll leave you with these thoughts and a chance to ponder your own brain circuitry. Are you playing brain tapes that fill you with gratitude and joy or are you hitting the rewind button on unhappy experiences?

To learn more about Dr. Taylor and her truly astounding work, please listen to our brief, 12-minute interview. Then check out her website and take a look at her book. My Stroke of Insight is one of those life-altering reads that will change your outlook forever…

In my last post, I wrote about L’Oreal’s ridiculous photograph of Diane Keaton claiming how comfortable she felt in her own skin. Problem was…there was precious little that resembled Diane’s own skin in that so-called “photo.” Facially altered almost beyond recognition, I bet the actress herself could barely make out her own likeness in that ad. Therefore, instead of finding “comfort in one’s own skin,” the words “bogus,” “demeaning,” and “insulting” came to mind for me.

The day after I spotted that particular ad that had so enraged me, I got even angrier. I watched the remarkable and important documentary, Miss Representation… and it all began to make sense. For years, marketers have tried to make us feel bad about ourselves. They figure, if they can present enough images of women with perfect faces and bodies, we’ll realize how flawed we are by comparison. Then, as our media induced insecurities grow ever stronger; we’ll spend precious dollars buying their products in hopes of fixing the defects Mother Nature bestowed upon our own imperfect features.

Miss Representation went on to show how, in years past, marketers achieved their ends by hiring glamorous models. They’d have these celestial creatures spend hours in hair and make-up and then bring in top-notch photographers to take hundreds of photos in hopes of catching just the one with the right look. Such contrived and nearly perfect images were enough to get us feeling bad about ourselves… and running to the nearest cosmetics counter.

But today’s technology has added a new and even more ominous wrinkle. Now the wily arbiters of beauty and fashion have the ability to enhance features and faces, removing any traces of the slightest physical flaw with the mere click of a mouse. Moreover, even the most beautiful of models and actresses can’t compete with digital perfection—take a look at what they did to Diane Keaton.

As Miss Representation pointed out, these blatantly deceptive practices go a long way to diminish the already fragile self-esteem of many teenage girls. But, rather astoundingly, they’re trying to do the same thing to us. Visible aging is a fear held many by women—therefore playing upon this fear and making us feel inadequate and “over the hill” is a virtual goldmine for the cosmetic companies.

So rather than falling for their devious methods and allowing them make us feel bad about our looks, let’s come together and use that energy to reignite our revolutionary spirit. Let’s draw upon our famous boomer bravado and shout “enough!” Let’s let vote with our wallets and not be buffaloed into thinking we’re “less than” because we have a wrinkle or two. And, finally, let’s educate our daughters, our granddaughters, and ourselves and watch Miss Representation. The documentary is playing on OWN. I urge you to view this truly incredible film with the women and girls you love. Then go to Miss Representation.org and take the pledge.

We boomers have worked hard in support of gender parity and the rights of all citizens. Let’s not waste precious time allowing the media to weaken our personal power and reduce our sense of ourselves as mature and attractive women through their photo-shopping ways. We’re way too with-it and wise (not to mention feisty) to fall for their underhanded ads. Feeling diminished and bad about ourselves is not only a waste of time; it’s a waste of the most important and vital years of our lives.

Yep, we shot off some rather astounding phrases back in the day. Moreover, even the seemingly innocuous ones appear to be precursors to our current reality. “Outta site” is now the case for must of us. Whether referring to near or far vision—life can be a bit blurry on the far side of fifty. And “better living though chemistry” is painfully true—the drug companies are reaping a fortune on us.

Nevertheless, as embarrassing as these references might be to us now, at least we said them…using actual words, that is. The younger generation seems either unwilling or unable to speak in real words. They much prefer spouting letters and acronyms that we can’t follow—rattling them off with the same disdain we directed at people over thirty during the height of our flower power.

For those not particularly technically inclined, this practice can be maddening. Just try to figure out what an OEM is or what the heck they mean by a 4G Network. (Okay—you can use Google and find out.) But why can’t these whippersnappers realize they’re dealing with the mightiest customer cohort around—one with greater discretionary spending ability than any other? By marketing their wares using such gibberish terms, they’re likely losing countless boomer buyers. And that’s a great big LOL on them!

So even if we might feel like eating some of the more memorable sayings of our youth, at least we actually spoke them in terms people could understand. The younger generation might well chew on the sentiments in the above paragraph—they could even use them for a little food for thought… Actually, that particular exercise in verbal digestion would go a long way to make eating our own words all the more tasteful!

Once you’ve hit fifty and beyond, you’ve been through a lot. You’ve likely experienced major losses in the form of crushing blows to your ego, the death of a dearly held dream, and the passing of one or both of your parents. Although such difficult circumstances can throw your life off kilter for months—maybe even years—in time you will recover and go on. So, as tough as they are, such major blows can build inner fortitude and teach valuable life lessons.

For those who were hard hit by Irene, our thoughts and prayers go out to you. But those of us gifted with the perspective of a number of decades on the planet know things will return to normal. This may come in the form of a “new normal,” yet your life will move on to provide you with meaningful and treasured times ahead.

Another thing perspective teaches is a fresh appreciation for the importance of those we hold most dear. Everyday life brings deadlines, commitments, the Internet, TV, and a whole host of distractions that can leave our loved ones the last to receive our attention. In truth, taking those closest to our heart for granted seems a commonplace occurrence in our increasingly stressful society.

Perhaps the silver lining in a major storm—even one as devastating as Irene—is that our real priorities shift to become front and center in our thoughts. No one ever bemoans the fact that they lost their Internet connection when their family comes safely through a natural disaster.

So may we each take a few moments to connect with those we love and let them know what they truly mean to us. This may sound preachy and trite but, from the vantage point the years have brought, nothing can be more important.

I’ve seen this fundamental truth play out in the lives of those around me and in my own thoughts and reactions many, many times. Although I confess to not always honoring the power of focus, this lesson was brought home to me recently in very real ways.

I was at a book signing for Land the Job You Love and several people came up to talk with me and tell me the reasons why they couldn’t find employment. Every suggestion I gave these particular folks was met with a response along the lines of: “no that won’t work because…” (fill in the blank). I realized then that they probably wouldn’t find a job—not because they weren’t qualified—but because their mind was set against it. They were spending the majority of their energy and focus concentrating on roadblocks. How might their chances change if they switched their thinking to “how can I make this happen?” With that question in mind, their thoughts would naturally turn to opening up options and creating new opportunities for themselves. Being focused and flexible are keys to moving forward in your job search.

Focus also plays a role in our everyday health and wellbeing. I interviewed Maureen Minnehan Jones, a registered nurse, certified massage therapist, and guided imagery practitioner who recently authored a fascinating book, Wisdom to Wellness: Healing Your Emotional Sufferings so the Physical Healing Can Follow. She points to the “common thread of disease” and offers a powerful healing technique she calls “MO” for Modus Operandi. Maureen believes emotional root causes underlie physical ailments. By unearthing these emotional roots and shifting your focus (my terms), you can promote self-love and healing.

So next time you hear yourself saying: “I can’t,” “I’d never be able to,” or “I’m not artistic/clever/organized/etc. enough to…” stop and shift your focus to “how can I make this happen?” A simple switch in focus can open up a world of opportunity!