The two hemispheres of women’s brains are far better connected than those of men. Females have up to twenty-five percent more corpus collosum—the brain’s connective tissue—than our male counterparts. Therefore we naturally enjoy more interplay between the logical left side (the part that manages language, practical applications, sequence, and details) and the more creative right side (that largely handles feelings, imagination, intuition, and the big picture).

In practical terms, this means we can think and feel at the same time. We can access emotions while using our analytical skills. We can sense how our words and actions impact others, and we can use the best parts of our right and left-brains simultaneously.

Men, to the contrary, need time to switch from using their analytical processing to utilizing the more creative, emotional side of their brains. (Like maybe a long round of golf or a three-day weekend.) So when your honey says, “I’ll think about it later,” he really means it.

The exertion required to refocus is most likely the reason that, when we ask our guys how they’re feeling about something, it takes a good ten minutes from them to respond. That is… if we get any response other than a grunt and a wave of the hand to leave them alone!

Suzanne Braun Levine writes of the “Fertile Void,” that time in a woman’s life between first and second adulthood when every part of her reality seems to be in flux. Her mindset is shifting away from the cares and concerns of mothering young children, building a career, and attempting to behave like society’s ideal of the modern woman—you know… the one about doing and having it all. At 50, she still wants it all–but less according to society’s definition and more on her own terms.

Gloria Feldt describes the dilemma further by recognizing that our generation is the first to encounter these types of thoughts and issues. In a recent article in Life Goes Strong, Gloria reminds us: “We are the first generation of women to have been responsible for our financial security throughout most of our lives. We never thought we’d be trying—or needing—to craft new careers at 50, 60, and in today’s economy, even 70.”

Yet it is in second adulthood that many women discover their essence. We start to identify that which satisfies our personal drives and learn the keys to finding work that fulfills our hearts and minds. But sometimes we can use a little help along the way.

So for mentoring material that will provide you with answers to your own quest, I suggest you take a look at Gloria Feldt.com and Suzanne Braun Levine.com. These two amazing women have personally inspired me. To my mind, there are no better role models of the true power of womankind at its best.

Also, if you’re looking to find a new job or career, I invite you to take a look at Land the Job You Love: 10 Surefire Strategies for Jobseekers Over 50. Along with job search techniques, there are plenty of self-assessment exercises to help you choose the path to the livelihood that’s right for you.

January is mentoring month… so, if you need one, find one. And, if you’ve had one, take a little time to let her know what she’s meant to you. Especially in the years past 50, we can all use a boost of female empowerment to keep us feeling feisty!

To our youthful minds, there were clear and definite delineations: good and evil, right and wrong, truth and lies. However as we’ve aged, the “whole truth” has blurred a bit. More and more, we’ve come to realize that, for each of us, truth is a byproduct of our personal filters.

In the larger context, our truths are based on the culture of our country of origin, the religious upbringing we experienced, and the mores of the times in which we live. Our more intimate truths are based on our own experiences, how people relate to our actions, and what we believe about ourselves.

Even eyewitness accounts of crimes have now been shown to be unreliable. This is because personal filters and physical limitations also affect an individual’s sensory input–thereby impacting their version of “the truth.” (Wow! These forensic findings would have appalled our childhood heroes, Jack and Perry!)

Nevertheless, this realization can be incredibly freeing. We have a choice as to what to believe about ourselves… and that brings me to my favorite topic: aging. Study after study points to the benefits of having a positive outlook on life. Optimists, especially those with a rich social system of friends and colleagues, are better able to ward off disease, practice habits that promote health and wellbeing, and generally live fuller, happier lives.

So I’d like to pass along a truth I got from a friend. She received this particular piece of advice while sitting in her garden.

The Truth: Life Lessons From a Sunflower…

Stand tall

Back straight

Chin up

Face the sun

If you’re looking for the truth about aging,  I doubt you’ll find a better lesson to follow than that!

Seemingly everywhere one turned, there was a book or an article about this major life transition. Yet most of these pieces, informative as the were, spoke mainly of the discomfort of perimenopause and little of the wondrous freedom that comes with post-menopausal zest.

Suzanne Braun Levine and I have held many conversations on the topic. Suzanne is the former editor of Ms. magazine turned prolific author of books for women over 50. In fact, she’s just come out with her newest one, How We Love Now, Sex and the New Intimacy in Second Adulthood. Our latest discussion is a mere 15-minutes—well worth your time because Suzanne’s thoughts will resonate with you and deepen your perspective on your own journey through this remarkable stage of life.

In addition to enriching our relationships, the menopausal years provide us with numerous life-affirming freedoms. Many women report they’re happier in their third act than ever before.

Here are four freedoms that are true for me and, I’m guessing, for you as well:

The obvious—no more “feminine hygiene” products, uncomfortable bloating, or monthly mood swings. I often forget this freedom because I’ve now grown accustomed to feeling energetic and happy most every day of my life. However the cessation of one’s period is truly a cause for celebration.

Perspective—I’m freed from many of the worries of my youth. I no longer obsess about details, spend hours worrying that my words may have been misinterpreted, or feel wounded by a friend’s oversight. The realization that life is short is both a lesson in reality and immensely freeing. Perspective is truly one of the greatest gifts of age.

Learning to say “no”—This particular freedom is one Suzanne considers to be one of the most important of them all. As she puts it, it is only by learning to say “no” that our “yes” becomes authentic. In other words, we are now giving ourselves permission to “choose to” rather than to “have to.” This simple act of authenticity frees the individual and everyone in her circle of relationships… no more begrudging acceptance for us!

Learning to love myself—I’ve learned that I truly want to take care of my health, my wellbeing, and my-SELF.  As they say in the commercials, it’s “because I’m worth it!” No longer as concerned with how others may view me, I’m finally, finally realizing that I’m a valuable person in my own right. No more, “if I could just lose 10 pounds, I’d be attractive” thinking for me. I’ve become feisty!

So let’s share the good news with our younger sisters who are deep in the throes of perimenopause. Let’s let them know there is light at the end of the tunnel and, better yet, that light is big, bright, sassy, and incredibly freeing.

And be certain to check out Suzanne’s book—there’s no better way to celebrate love, sex, and the new intimacy than with an old broad’s sense of freedom!

When the ball in Times Square dropped to signify yet another January 1st had rolled around, I realized I could no longer take my life for granted. At our age, we well understand there are no guarantees in life. Nevertheless, we still find ourselves believing we’re invincible. This New Year, however, the sheer number of days I’ve existed on the planet has me thinking in different terms. Because life becomes even precious as the years progress, I’m adding several reasons to remember a sense of gratitude in my list of resolutions.

First off, I’m grateful to my body. After years of despising its flaws, I’m realizing what an amazing gift this vehicle has given me. Although decidedly not the model’s figure I coveted in my youth, my body has provided me with years of health and a pain-free existence to enjoy all that life has to offer.

Secondly, I’m thankful to those who have chosen to be part of my life. Family and friends are true treasures. Their support, emotional and otherwise, has enriched my every experience beyond measure. We can count ourselves extremely fortunate if we’ve had a friend nearby to help us through our struggles and celebrate our triumphs. Women especially center much of our lives around our relationships–so these connections are precious gifts indeed.

Thirdly, I feel incredibly blessed to have reached the stage in my life where I’ve let go of numerous inconsequential thoughts and worries. I’m feeling more and more liberated to speak my mind and pursue my own goals. And I’m finally realizing that my authentic being is actually “good enough” just as I am.

My gratitude list could go on and on as, I’m sure, can yours. So, as we commence with our new New Year’s resolutions, let’s vow to continue it. The mere practice of writing five things you’re grateful for (large and small) each day expands your awareness of the true gifts in your life. And what better way to guarantee you will enjoy a happy New Year than by remembering your blessings each and every day?!

Here’s the story:

If you read the recent front page story in the San Francisco Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso and a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallon Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off; the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her. They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.

When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushing them gently around as she was thanking them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth said her eyes were following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude. I pass this on to you, my friends, in the same spirit.

Major losses aside, there are a number of little deficits I’m observing in my daily life. In fact, my senses seem to be slowly growing duller. My eyesight was never great, but now I’m noticing I don’t see as well at night and can understand why older drivers forgo getting behind the wheel after sunset. My hearing is pretty good but I’m beginning to ask “what?” with far greater frequency. And, although I still suffer from a lifelong struggle with portion control, even my taste buds seem to be less acute.

But as my five senses are growing less sensitive, my sixth sense seems to be growing ever keener. I can “read” people with greater accuracy than when I was younger. My theory on this? I’m becoming less and less the focus of my own drama and am more attuned to the reactions of those around me. I don’t sweat the small stuff nearly as much as I used to and this has freed me up to notice the big stuff more and more.

One of the bigger things I’ve noticed is the power of two little words. Although I’ve always been good at saying “thank you” whenever someone does something for me (like opening the door or passing the bread basket), I’m becoming more aware of the strength of acknowledging people—especially when they go out of their way. If you look for opportunities to genuinely recognize an act of kindness by others, these powerful two words can create a growing bond of mutual respect that will open doors.

Beyond the cursory “thanks for the coffee” and other automatic phrases we use in polite society, I’ve found that people are truly touched when you acknowledge them for a kindness or favor. Each of us yearns to feel special and many people don’t take the time to reach out and say “thank you,” even when it is warranted. Therefore expressing one’s thanks provides a recognition that is often unexpected but is always welcomed. In fact, this simple act will help you go far in business, when looking for a job, and in your personal life. It truly is the gift that blesses both the giver and the receiver.

As 2011 draws to a close, I’d like to take the time to thank you, my readers. You’ve followed me, encouraged me, and given me the greatest gift a blogger could ask for: that of being heard. It is with great gratitude that I wish each of you the happiest of holidays, good health, and many wonderful times in the New Year. And, even though it’s a simple two words, I mean my THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. So here’s to another fabulous year filled with new adventures, fun, and post-menopausal zest to each of you on the feisty side of fifty!

Suzanne Braun Levine, longtime managing editor of Ms. magazine and author of several books for women over 50, joined me once again on Feisty Side of Fifty Radio to discuss the various ways we undergo a multi-dimensional metamorphosis in midlife.

In truth, the beginning of the big change often looks like we’re standing still. It’s almost as is we go into shock…frozen by the overwhelming and often competing drives and feelings that inhabit out psyches. Do we want to quit our job and pursue a different career that’s more in line with our newly forming passions? Are we willing to step outside of our carefully constructed persona and start speaking up with a forcefulness that might surprise our friends and family? Do we opt to end a long-term relationship, that may be growing stale, in favor of a new one providing novelty and excitement?

All of these questions and more create what Levine terms “the fertile void.” This is the uncomfortable, albeit critically important, period of rebirth. On the other side of the fertile void lives the powerful land of “no” and the increasing ability to “toot.”

Learning both of these skills (and they are learnable skills) are your tickets to moving forward into mastery—living in a state of what psychologist Abraham Maslow called “self-actualization.”

So take a break from the holidays and give yourself time to think about how YOU can conquer new territory, how YOU can create your own state of mastery, and how YOU can experience your own state self-actualization. Take a listen to what Suzanne has to say in our 15-minute interview, at her appearance on TEDx Women, and on her post at Huff/Post 50.

And, if you know a boomer who’s looking for work, be certain to let them know about my own articles on Huff/Post 50. “’Tis the Season… So Get Out There!” and “Seasons Greetings Can Land You the Job” are packed with job search tips and reasons why December is the BEST time of year to look for work!

But when the sun is shining and the top is down, nothing beats it. I even get the sense that the wind blowing against my skin gives me an instant facelift—so putting a little peddle to the metal (and, at my age, that means going over 35 mph) is a rejuvenating experience!

However, when the top is up, there is a decided blind spot created by the special design of the convertible’s ragtop. Even when using the side-mirrors, my visual field is limited. In fact I’ve experienced my share of near misses–so I’ve learned to be extra careful when changing lanes.

Interestingly, the limitations of my ragtop have recently become a metaphor for a life lesson I need to learn. I’m hoping this teaches me to employ the same caution I use while driving to my personal choices. I hadn’t realized how frequently my decisions fall under the limited vision created by my own blind spot.

Yes, I’m a self-confessed “assumer.” Although my intentions are good (at least I hope so), I’m prone to sometimes making rash judgments that fail to take into account all the potential ramifications. And sometimes these erroneous choices affect others.

Recently I did something I assumed would be fine… but it wasn’t. Thank goodness I perpetrated my faux pas upon one of my closest friends. Now that we’re older, more forthright, and menopausal, she spoke up and told me. What a gift!

Perhaps my personal life lesson might apply to you, too. As the end of the year is upon us and many of us tend to get reflective, it might be helpful to consider what you’re seeing in your own rear view mirror. Do you sometimes hold assumptions that lead to faulty decision-making? Are you guilty of coming to rash conclusions? Do you have a blind spot that may be affecting the way your choices impact family and friends in your own life?

As for me… my early New Year’s resolution is short but meaningful: assume less and ask more. That way the next time I change lanes in my personal life, I’ll be proceeding with necessary caution. Hopefully this life lesson, similar to driving my beloved midlife crisis car, will help me avoid those accidental errors that just might lead to a crash.

Actually December is, bar none, the very best time of year to find a job! There are 4 reasons why this is true:

1. Competition levels plummet.

• Most jobseekers figure the holidays are a waste of time and make only marginal efforts to look for work.
• Their big mistake becomes your big advantage because opportunities for socializing and networking abound.

2. January and February represent the strongest hiring period of the year.

• New projects, initiatives, and budgets are put into place and hiring generally skyrockets at the beginning of the year.
• By actively networking, you’ll position yourself as a valuable and enthusiastic candidate and will be well on your way to getting the call for an interview on January 2nd.

3. There’s no better time of year to schmooze.

• Parties, gatherings, and community events are prime opportunities to press the flesh and tell your story.
• Don’t deliver a rehearsed elevator speech. Instead come up with an engaging one-liner that keeps it light but will peak the interest of your audience.
• Example: A buyer states she “shops with other people’s money.”

4. The holidays are a great time to get out there.

• Volunteering, seasonal hiring, and all sorts of opportunities present themselves for moving out of your immediate circle of contacts.
• Take advantage of as many of these as you can that will comfortably allow you time to pursue other holiday networking activities.

For more information on each of these points, be sure to check out my latest post on Huff/Post 50.

And, to make certain you’re primed and ready to take full advantage of all the season has to offer, take a look at Land the Job You Love: 10 Surefire Strategies for Jobseekers Over 50. It’s packed with the tools you’ll need to understand the job market of today and present yourself as the dynamic and accomplished candidate you are.

So let’s raise a toast to December… it is, after all, the season to be merry and to make connections. Enjoy your journey to success!