News of the century: Archaeologists have recently unearthed the true story of Creation—complete with dialogue. The scientific community was initially shocked by the findings but soon came to realize that life on earth finally made sense!
The following is taken from the actual transcript:
EVE: I’ve got a problem.
GOD: What’s the problem, Eve?
EVE: I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals as well as that crazy snake, but I’m just not happy.
GOD: And why is that Eve?
EVE: I am lonely, and I’m sick to death of apples.
GOD: Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you. He can be your helpmate and your playmate… but there are a few things you should know before I hand him over to you.
EVE: And what are these?
GOD: Man will be a rather flawed creature. All in all, he’ll give you a pretty hard time. He’ll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things so you’ll have plenty to eat, but he’ll revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about and that will begin to annoy you. Also, he won’t be as smart as you, so he’ll need your advice to think and act properly. But he’ll be self-admiring and won’t understand that you’re only trying to help him with your suggestions. In fact he’ll think he’s the smart one and that it’s his prerogative to point out your flaws and criticize you.
EVE: Wow—that’s a lot to think about! Is there anything else I should know before I get my man?
GOD: Well, yes. You can have him on one condition.
EVE: And what’s that, dear God?
GOD: As I said, he’ll be proud and pleased with himself… so you’ll have to let him believe that I made him first.
EVE: I guess that’s okay—I can handle that.
GOD: And, above all, you’ll need to consider his male ego, so this will have to be our little secret… you know, woman to woman.
Now a pictorial representation of other side of the story: