The Envelope From Hades!
Women over 50 have learned to roll with the punches. We’ve suffered our share of slights as society attempts to marginalize us, make us feel irrelevant, and acts like our age alone is something that diminishes out worth. We hear the condescension couched in terms such as “sweetie,” “dear,” and “young lady,” and we recognize that ever-present roll of the eyes as we approach a salesclerk in a smart phone store. (By the way, I personally prefer my phones dumb—the kind that are operable without an engineering degree.)
But the big news for society is of course that we’re the boomers—the mightiest generation to ever hit the planet—and we’re not taking any of that crap!
So there I am going about my business one day when I hear the familiar sound of my mail carrier’s truck. Hoping for a message from a friend, I race out to the mailbox as fast as my fifty-plus legs can take me. (Just to be clear, I don’t have fifty legs… I couldn’t quite figure out the correct word order—but I trust you get my drift.)
Rather than the anticipated letter, however, there in the pile of junk mail and ads was a message of another sort… one that took my breath away. It was from a magazine I hadn’t subscribed to in years. They wanted me back and must have decided upon some clever marketing scheme aimed at garnering my business.
Now my guess is that the author of this cunning ploy had to be young, probably male, and absolutely clueless because there on the outside of the envelope in great big bold print stood the words that burned my eyes like a hot poker: YOU QUALIFY FOR THE SENIOR CITIZEN OFFER—DETAILS INSIDE!
Yes, I’m proud of my generation. Yes, I’ve come to terms with most of the changes to my body and my looks brought on by age. And, yes, I’m a champion for the feisty side of fifty. But PUH-LEASE, leave my mailbox alone! Keep your offers to yourself or this ol’ gal just might suggest where you can stuff ‘em.
Well, that’s my rant for the day—I’d love to hear yours. I know you’ve got them because, without a doubt, there’s a whole lot of reasons to get feisty once you’re on the far side of fifty!
Posts
May 9th, 2012 at 12:09 am
I had a similar bout of rage when a series of junk mail letters with “over 50′s discount” emblazoned in red on the outside of the envelope landed in my mail box. I hate junk mail and I especially hate junk mail that tries to exploit and pigeonhole’s me because of my perceived ‘old age’. I sent each back unopened with a less than complimentary remark on the outside of each envelope. Childish I know but it made me feel heaps better
April 18th, 2012 at 9:54 am
I feel like I have fifty legs sometimes when I run to the mailbox! That being said, I no longer am bothered by these things. I just delight in taking advantage of all the cost savings specials! They can call me anything they like if I get a discount! I know I don’t look, act or feel like a Senior Citizen (in my own mind’s eye) so I say “bring it”! Fool! I do have to add one caveat. I received an invite to buy a “plot” in our local cemetery the other day….well, that stopped my clock! P.S. Although junk mail has indeed diminished, most of it still remains unnecessary and wasteful. And I have sent it back unopened!
April 2nd, 2012 at 5:34 am
A few years ago, I went into a Taco Bell and ordered just a diet coke. The young man at the counter gave it to me and waved away my money. “No charge,” he said. I thought, “What a nice guy!” I found out later that seniors get free drinks at Taco Bell! He hadn’t even asked. I guess I just looked “old” to him. At the time I was about 50.
One day I went to Kohls and I’d forgotten my coupon. The girl at the register asked if I was 62 yet. (I was about 60 then) I said no and she said “Well, is it near your 62nd birthday?” I can still give you the discount. She was trying to please-lol
I guess we just have to remember that we look old to anybody under 30. My granddaughter points out old women in the grocery store and says, “See, she’s a Grandma like you!” She could look 80 years old (quite a bit older than me) but to my granddaughter, she’s a Grandma and old.
Hard to see ourselves as old when we look in the mirror and see ourselves the way we looked 20 years ago.
March 25th, 2012 at 7:20 am
I hope you send you’re well justified “rant” out to the magazine publisher as well. My rant is the amount of junk sent in the mail. Between that and outrageous statements that come with it, the mail carrier is often the unwelcome bearer of unnecessary paper––except providing marketing jobs for young upstarts who don’t have a clue about real life. Maybe sending it back unopened would send a message.