The Envelope From Hades!
Women over 50 have learned to roll with the punches. We’ve suffered our share of slights as society attempts to marginalize us, make us feel irrelevant, and acts like our age alone is something that diminishes out worth. We hear the condescension couched in terms such as “sweetie,” “dear,” and “young lady,” and we recognize that ever-present roll of the eyes as we approach a salesclerk in a smart phone store. (By the way, I personally prefer my phones dumb—the kind that are operable without an engineering degree.)
But the big news for society is of course that we’re the boomers—the mightiest generation to ever hit the planet—and we’re not taking any of that crap!
So there I am going about my business one day when I hear the familiar sound of my mail carrier’s truck. Hoping for a message from a friend, I race out to the mailbox as fast as my fifty-plus legs can take me. (Just to be clear, I don’t have fifty legs… I couldn’t quite figure out the correct word order—but I trust you get my drift.)
Rather than the anticipated letter, however, there in the pile of junk mail and ads was a message of another sort… one that took my breath away. It was from a magazine I hadn’t subscribed to in years. They wanted me back and must have decided upon some clever marketing scheme aimed at garnering my business.
Now my guess is that the author of this cunning ploy had to be young, probably male, and absolutely clueless because there on the outside of the envelope in great big bold print stood the words that burned my eyes like a hot poker: YOU QUALIFY FOR THE SENIOR CITIZEN OFFER—DETAILS INSIDE!
Yes, I’m proud of my generation. Yes, I’ve come to terms with most of the changes to my body and my looks brought on by age. And, yes, I’m a champion for the feisty side of fifty. But PUH-LEASE, leave my mailbox alone! Keep your offers to yourself or this ol’ gal just might suggest where you can stuff ‘em.
Well, that’s my rant for the day—I’d love to hear yours. I know you’ve got them because, without a doubt, there’s a whole lot of reasons to get feisty once you’re on the far side of fifty!