A Circle of Trust for Women Over Fifty
In Fifty is the New Fifty, Suzanne Braun Levine writes of ten critical lessons we learn as women in midlife. And, in honor of the latest paperback edition of her book, she has graciously offered to explore three of these life lessons in a series of interviews on Feisty Side of Fifty radio.
The first topic Suzanne discussed was the often difficult but necessary lesson of learning to say “no.” This simple two-letter word, rather than a sign of being churlish and uncooperative, can actually represent an act of bravery and authenticity. It is one of the first signs of growing into second adulthood and creating a new and more truthful edition of ourselves.
As younger women, we often go along and agree to things we may not care to do so as not to rock the boat. Even our brains are hardwired to avoid conflict and confrontation. But one of the gifts of midlife and our changing hormones is the fact that we can and will say “no.” And, as Suzanne points out, it is by representing our feelings and ourselves more honestly, that we can truly embrace the times we say “yes” with a full and willing heart.
The second in our series was all about the joys of female friendships: “A Circle of Trust is a Must.” I’ve written about friendships many times on Feisty Side of Fifty and Suzanne suggests that these all-important relationships grow even stronger with age.
In our youth, we may consider one another rivals. Women often compare ourselves according to our looks, our earning power, the men in our lives, our children’s success and a whole host of variables. As we age, however, many of those earlier feelings of insecurity and envy drop away. We mature and recognize the strength of the bonds we share.
Moreover, as we’ve learned to say “no” and express our feelings more truthfully, our friendships become more authentic as well. So take a listen to our latest interview and celebrate the special women in your life. After all, a circle of trust is a must and what better way to celebrate the years past fifty than spending time with your women friends–a very feisty and friendly thing to do!
Posts
Loading ...
April 10th, 2010 at 8:55 am
I think that for me it is easier to say no because I am realizing I only have so much time left in this life. As we get older, we cherish our moments more and learn to prioritize better.
And I agree, we care much less about what other people think. What a relief!!
April 8th, 2010 at 2:06 pm
How right you and Suzanne are about friends in the second half. I have less close friends but I feel closer than ever regardless of the geographical distance–and most are not local. Perhaps it’s because we talk more openly and honestly, more from the heart. Maybe it’s because we have no agenda as you pointed out. The need to compare and compete is gone–hopefully–so that the beauty of what each of us brings to the table can be enjoyed.
We’ve all said, “if it were not for my girlfriends” fill in the blank and I feel that more than ever now. I have made some new women friends over the past 10 or so years and we’ve gotten close. That’s grace as far as I can tell and enriches an already very rich and delicious life.
In my world “everything is food” and my friends would have to be considered caviar–or cake depending on who is picking.
They feed me exquisitely even if we are just talking on the phone.
Thanks for sharing this important reminder and reminding me of a great author and one of the original coaches.