Women Over 50—Reach Out and Touch Someone!
If you’re over fifty, there’s a good chance you remember the AT&T commercials inviting us to “reach out and touch someone.” Marshall McLuhan, Canadian educator, philosopher and expert on media theory has been credited with coming up with the line— ostensibly to tap into the human need to communicate with one another. (He also came up with such memorable expressions as “the medium is the message” and the “global village.”)
As Valentine’s Day draws near, I’ve been thinking a lot about those old commercials and the message they conveyed. And, no, it wasn’t about making a long distance call back when those things were expensive. I’m thinking more about the way people have touched my life and how I hope I am able to touch the lives of others as well.
As a girl reared in the fifties and taught the socially acceptable role of women at that time, I’ve often wrestled with the push/pull of doing for others. There’ve been many instances in my life when I felt like a doormat—too afraid to say “no” and, although outwardly saying “yes,” simmering with resentment inside. Believe me, this is an awful feeling. And it is self-perpetuating. The more you say “yes” to things you don’t want to do, the more people feel free to ask.
Now that I’m well past fifty, the doormat syndrome is, thankfully, long gone. As Suzanne Braun Levine writes in her rich and informative book, 50 is the New Fifty, it is by learning to say “no” that we can truly say “yes” and mean it. So, now when I’m asked to do something I have a choice: I can either decline without guilt (mostly, that is) or accept with a full and joyous heart. Another amazing gift of age!
So with my full and joyous heart, I would like to reach out and touch all of you. Over the two plus years I’ve been blogging, I’ve connected with extraordinary women; women from across the country and even around the world; women who have lifted me up when I felt down and women who have encouraged me when I needed it. I wish each of you a Happy Valentine’s Day, the love of family and friends, and the gift of touching lives. What a wonderful way to celebrate Valentine’s Day and thrive in all our fullness on the Feisty Side of Fifty!
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February 20th, 2010 at 5:16 am
Thanks, Eileen. I really needed this reminder today! I’m definitely getting better at saying, “no.” But sometimes I just have a hard time knowing how I really feel about a situation. I find myself arguing internally for both sides of the fence. For example, if someone invites me to go somewhere last minute, my initial thought might be that the invite sounds fun. Then I might think I don’t feel like getting all dolled up. So, I will go back and forth like that. I think I need to work on getting more clear in myself first. Thanks again!
February 15th, 2010 at 9:18 am
Hope you had a Sweet Day! A t-shirt saying ‘Doormat No More’ would be good. Think I will make myself one and one for each of my 3 daughters!
February 15th, 2010 at 5:42 am
Thanks for the Valentine’s Day post! I look forward to reading your blog and getting to know you and your readership. I am learning, at 54, that it’s not too late to be great! Have a marvelous week!
February 13th, 2010 at 7:31 pm
There are definitely advantages to getting older and you have just stated the number one advantage I can think of. There is most definitely a freedom to not caring if you are liked by everyone. Your true friends know who you are and appreciate you for who you are and that is a great stress reducer!
I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, Eileen!
February 13th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Happy Valentine’s Day to you as well Eileen. One of the things I’ve learned as the years pass is, it’s OK not to please everybody. I don’t have to befriend everybody and there are people that I just don’t click with. But the bottom line is to be RESPECTFUL of others feelings and emotions and if you can’t be that, then you’re really not being true to yourself.
February 13th, 2010 at 5:51 am
Eileen-Just love your VDay message here! Your new book arrived yesterday and I buried myself in the Library working my way through it. Truly magical timing as I have a possible opportunity coming up next week. After years of working at “who will I be when I grow up” and 50 staring me in the face (3 months, but who’s counting), I am tearing my resume apart and prepping myself for these interviews next week. So, on behalf of all the girls reading your blog, thank you a million times over for inspiring us all!