Women Over 50: Become a Gentle Warrior
As baby boomer women, our generation can undoubtedly be described as courageous. We openly refuted the feminine ideal of the fifties, stood up for the rights of womankind, and broke through previously unquestioned barriers in the name of widening opportunities for our gender and demanding a long overdue parity of the sexes.
However, on a personal basis, how many times did each of us pass on something we really wanted to do because we were either fearful of the outcome or didn’t want to disappoint those around us? Maybe it was something big, like quitting a difficult relationship or finding another job. Perhaps it was something as seemingly simple as taking a class or going to a gathering where we didn’t know anyone.
Speaking from my own experience, I’ve stopped myself from doing something I wanted many times. And, although I now chalk these missed opportunities up to valuable learning experiences, I wish I could take a “do-over” on many occasions.
Mary Ann Bailey coaches women in midlife and explores just these types of issues. In her latest book, Gentile Warrior: Awakening the Courage to Live a Bold and Brilliant Life, she challenges us to step away from our comfort zone, connect with our inner courage, and move forward with our dreams. It’s a wonderfully inspiring book and one that can change your life. AND Mary Ann is offering a special discount to readers of Feisty Side of Fifty. When you order the book, just type in C4C as your promo code.
As Mary Ann puts it: “Your responsibility is to live your life in such a way as to bring you the success, joy, and fulfillment you need to be a compassionate, caring, and contributing human being.” You can hear these sentiments and more by taking a quick 15 minutes to listen to my interview with Mary Ann on Feisty Side of Fifty Radio.
I’ll leave you with more of Mary Ann’s inspiring words: “This is a journey that is yours alone to make, because you are the only one who can hear the music playing in your head. You are the only one who can sing that song, dance that dance, or write that story, and you owe it to yourself and to the world not to falter in your pursuit of those dreams.”
Now how’s that for thriving on the feisty side of fifty?!
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March 27th, 2010 at 5:01 am
Hey…I love the sound of your book, but am not sure where to get it or any more details on it…I’m not over 50 yet, but at 48 am looking forward to this phase of my life and trying to do so with feist!
Hope to hear from you soon!
Thanks,
Cheryl
February 20th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
Funny this post is right on target. I have been reflecting on how I feel when I perceived to be “beat up” by my moms doctors at times. I am asking what happened to my communication skills? What happened to my nice peresistance. It’s there, has not gone away but sometimes I have gotten tired.
Something I am praying about. I do not want to nurture sarcasm or quick hurting comments when I am frustrated with someone.
Now, I KNOW what to do but I think sometimes you just feel wimpy. Do we give up? Do we give in?
I am hoping that my continued boomer years will reinforce my warrior side when I think it is tired.
I often think of Elizah in the bible. He got tired,felt wimpy but then got rest, food, restored and new marching orders and assurance from God.
I guess I just answered my own question. Ummm, thanks Eileen-
The warrior at times needs rest, restoration and time with God.
February 13th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
I have always been a warrior—maybe to a fault but I know that I have never allowed myself to conform to a “society way of thinking.” Both my parents were warriors. In many ways, they had to be to survive the cruelties of their generation. I believe God gives us all a “warrior mentality.” How you choose to allow it to manifest itself will determine how much you truly get out of this thing called life.
February 12th, 2010 at 2:11 pm
In a big growth spurt for me, I have been stating my needs very clearly, establishing boundaries, and letting people know when I am angry. This has been completely liberating for such a “professional nice person!” I agree totally with Baby Boomer Girl that the goal is balance. I have been very unbalanced toward putting others first; now, I have to learn the other extreme to reach a healthy center point.
I am back in a t’ai chi class after many years, and the “dance” of self-protection and self-defense in even the softest martial arts are giving me strong lessons on these issues at the level of my muscles and cells. Every beautiful movement in t’ai chi–and its ability to heal our very energy field–is also the response of a gentle warrior to breaches in his or her personal space. This is such an important issue for us, as women, who have been indoctrinated to put others ahead of ourselves for so long. Once we reach the second half of life, it’s imperative to learn what I call The Converse Golden Rule–to love ourselves as much as we love others. Thanks for this very thought-provoking post, Eileen. This is an issue nearly all of us need to revisit on a regular basis.
February 9th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
In the past, women were presumed not to have needs – we automatically sacrificed them. We’ve fought long and hard to get out of this sad situation. But it’s possible to go to the other extreme and that’s not good either. Going for what we want for the sake of going for what we want is just more of the ‘me, me, me’ phenomenon. And there’s a lot of that around too.
I feel good deep down when I get the balance right – between genuine consideration of others, and my own needs. If I’m fearful of disapproval or failure, and y cause is good, then out comes my warrior. If I’m fearful of losing awareness/consideration,large-heartedness, etc, then that fear is a signal from my higher self, prompting me to stop and decide exactly where my balance is. Sometimes, choosing to let go my own desires in favour of someone else’s needs brings me great peace and joy. It is no use being a warrior if you are fighting for a mean-minded cause. My ‘battle’ is to expand my love, happiness, mental peace, harmony, creativity and sense of oneness with all. So your term ‘Gentle’ warrior is appealing; she comes out in me quite a lot. Remaining gentle, she can even get deliciously stroppy!