Women Over Fifty—Tell It Like It Is!
I had the great pleasure of interviewing Suzanne Braun Levine for the third time on Feisty Side of Fifty Radio. Take a listen–it’s 15 minutes of fascinating news about boomer women and our ever revolutionary spirit. And, to learn even more, be sure and catch her appearance on the PBS series for boomers entitled, Life (Part 2). Suzanne took part in a roundtable discussion of marriage boomer style that will be aired on Wednesday, September 16th (check your local listings for time).
Suzanne is now working on her latest book about women in our generation and she’s delving into the intriguing topic of love, sex, and the new intimacy we forge as we age. And here’s some especially exciting news: she wants to write about YOU!
Suzanne has created a questionnaire to get you thinking about marriage, partnerships, and other relationships you’ve experienced over the years. So take a few minutes and let her know how you’ve grown and changed since you hit midlife. You can email your answers to info@suzannebraunlevine.com .
As a thank you gift, the first 10 respondents will receive a free copy of her best selling book, 50 is the New Fifty, so be sure to include your name and address. (Your responses to the questionnaire will remain anonymous.)
Here’s a personal note from Suzanne:
LOVE, SEX, AND THE NEW INTIMACY….
By Suzanne Braun Levine
I talk to women all the time and because they know I am trying to chronicle our experiences as we define a new stage of life, they let me ask impertinent questions, and they answer them openly. No surprise, really, from women who are discovering the joys of not caring “what other people think anymore.” Much of what they tell me begins with an astonished “I can’t believe that I am telling your this…” or “I can’t believe I am doing this…” but we are surprising ourselves at every turn.
My latest line of inquiry has to do with how we are experiencing love, sex, and intimacy these days. That is the subject of my next book, which I am working on now. I am intrigued by answers like: “I would never have chosen a guy like him twenty years ago!” “I was very happily married, but I would never marry again. I like being on my own.” “Sex used to be irrelevant, now it most certainly isn’t.” And I am touched by others who admit, “I am more content in my thirty-year marriage now than ever before.”
I am asking you to take a look at the questions below and answer any of them that interest you with a few sentences about your life. Please respond to me directly at: info@suzannebraunlevine.com. and, if you would consider being interviewed in greater length (by me), let me know that, too.
Thank you for joining this ground-breaking conversation. 
The questionnaire:
Are you in love now?
If so, does it feel different from other times in your life? How?
Is your partner someone you would have picked (or did pick) back then?
Or someone totally different?
If not, would you say you were “in sex”? Meaning enjoying sex even though the relationship couldn’t be called love? If so, is there anything new about the sex?
Have you found out anything new about the way you love now? Are you less/more interested in companionship and doing things together? Are you less/more interested in monogamy? (or are you a “serial monogamist?”)
If you are aware of power differentials or abuses of power in previous relationships, can you describe them and whether things are different in current ones? If you are in a long-standing relationship, has the balance of power shifted over time?
If you are not in love now and wish you were, what is it you miss?
If you are not in love now and like that just fine, what do you like about your situation?
Do you feel what you used to think of as “being in love” for people who aren’t romantic or sexual partners, (friends or grandchildren, for example)?
Please also tell me:
- Your age _____
- Your marital status _____
- Your address so that we know where to send your book.
- Write to me at info@suzannebraunlevine.com (if you would consider being interviewed).
Find out what your friends and other women are thinking as we continue the dialogue in new posts, comments, information and themes at “The New Intimacy,” www.suzannebraunlevine.com
©Suzanne Braun Levine, 2009.
Posts
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March 29th, 2010 at 6:46 am
I appreciate finding this site about women our age and our relationships. Mine is in a sort of state of confusion right now. Recently discovered that my husband of 38 years is gay. We hadn’t been sexual for a few years and seldom had physical intimacy since the 80′s. I don’t know why I didn’t know something was not right–I guess I always figured out some excuse why he didn’t want to be physical with me. I’m not that strikingly beautiful type of woman, but in my own way I think I can be attractive to a man. I just took it for granted that he was attracted to me but maybe just distracted, stressed, whatever. So, anyway at this point I do know for sure that he is gay and I still love him so much as my closest friend. However I feel so left out and cheated out of my sexual life. I wonder if I’ll ever find someone who will want me as a partner again in a close and physical relationship. Anyone got a crystal ball?
September 19th, 2009 at 7:21 am
Bravo, Mary Eileen! What a delightful site! Just sent an email responding to one of these questions. Fun stuff indeed!
Hugs ‘n’ Giggles~
Camille Olivia
September 14th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I agree with Heidi. I always wonder who are the women polled for these surveys. I’ve said it before–”My husband makes me hotter than a hot flash!”. He understands intimacy goes beyond the bedroom and I do believe that’s why we enjoy a healthy and happy relationship. Is it bliss all the time? Of course not–but making us is all the more fun!
Susanne says she is “intrigued by answers like: ‘I would never have chosen a guy like him twenty years ago.’ Not sure why she is intrigued by that answer. I can honestly say I would’ve never picked Nate out 20 years ago because I wasn’t that smart or savvy back then. Women must grow into who they are in order to appreciate the real man who is for them. thought l
September 14th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Just completed the questionnaire, and it was great to stop and think about where I am on each of the topics. THanks, Eileen, for another great post!
Diana
http://www.woofersclub.blogspot.com
September 13th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
I wish I had time to contribute to this topic. I could write a volume or two about how my views and feelings have evolved over the years. Transitioning from a very abusive relationship to a happy, tranquil one was a challenge. Leaving the abusive one was the best decision I ever made and marrying my current (and last) husband was the best decision for me. We will celebrate 17 years of marriage this Dec. I love him more every day. Our relationship has blossomed into mature love and intimacy. He is my best friend. At nearly 59 yrs old, I have discovered that these are the best days of my life, in every way. Sure, I would like to have a little nip and tuck here and there, but I feel good in my skin, and my husband has no trouble touching it, regardless of how much skin there is. Now, if we only had more time to make love.
September 13th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
What an interesting topping to explore and share.
Emotions have shifted over the years and through special events in life to less urgency and more gentle and thoughtful, although not less passionate, communications within the family and among friends.
Enjoyed Eileen Williams “Feisty Side of Fifty” and could identify with her observations.
September 11th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
I can’t believe I’m thinking about doing the questionnaire? lol
My life circumstances have changed, but not my needs…like Supergranny, my passions just seem to be in different areas lately, but my desires need some ‘fine-tuning’!!! lol
Thanks for sharing!
September 11th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Last night on the news they talked about women not being interested in sex. They really want intimacy. I want to know who they interviewed to come up with that conclusion. I for one want both and hope to be able to have both until the day I die or until I no longer remember what it is *SMILE.
Thanks for a great article, Eileen!
Have a fantastic weekend,
Heidi Richards Mooney, Publisher
WE magazine for Women
September 11th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
I filled out the questionnaire. As we’ve aged, time and circumstance has drastically changed for us. Still passionate in spirit and attitude after 25+ yrs.
September 11th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Wow, what a great topic to explore. I know it certainly does not seem like 31 years of marriage. I am really looking forward to when we can have another honeymoon. I am also confident It will be even more exciting cause we haven’t even seen a vacation in 3 years.
Thanks again