Women Over Fifty—One of Our Own
One of the biggest and most difficult lessons in growing older is coming face-to-face with our own and our loved ones’ mortality. Almost too painful to contemplate, we’ll often turn to people in the news as a way of distancing ourselves from the inevitable bereavement in our personal lives.
My first big loss took place long before I was an adult. That, of course, was President Kennedy and I felt his death as keenly as if he were a member of my own family. I cried for days, literally languishing on the couch in front of the television as I watched the unbelievable events unfold.
As a midlife woman, I remember my upset when Carroll O’Connor, the actor who portrayed the crusty and narrow-minded Archie Bunker, passed away. All in the Family had been such a milestone in my early adulthood and his passing was one that meant something to me.
Most recently, I was touched by the death of Bea Arthur, also a TV favorite. Golden Girls was one of the first shows ever to focus on the lives of older women and celebrate their personalities as a whole: fun, flippant, sexy, and exasperating. These women weren’t conventional grannies—far from it. They were fully formed characters that led lives not unlike real women of our age group. Perhaps that show, so popular in the ‘80s, gave us boomers the inspiration to turn the tables on the blue-haired stereotypes and keep to our outspoken ways, our zest for life, and our rebellious nature long after our fiftieth birthdays.
Although their deaths were disturbing, these deceased celebrities were all considerably older than my boomer sisters and I. Now, however, one of our own is in a life and death struggle. For those of you who saw the Farrah Fawcett special, Farrah’s Story, you understand the extent of her battle with cancer. This once beautiful and vibrant women with the famous hair, is now bald and bed-ridden.
Nevertheless, true to her boomer roots, she’s facing her mortality in an unconventional fashion. With unwavering and unflinching courage, she shares her trip through hell so that others may benefit from her story. I never was a particular fan of hers but I sure am now.
I wish you well, friend Farrah. May you continue to be a role model for boomers everywhere and may your special light continue to shine even in the afterlife.
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June 8th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Eileen – you have somehow touched on something I’ve been going through yet again. Finding out that a celebrity that we grew up with passed away just seems to point harshly at our own mortality and, as we age, this naturally happens more often!
With the recent death of David Carradine I am yet again reminded that time is passing. It’s so hard to comprehend that the young actor who played Kwai Chang Caine was in his 70s at the time of his death. I naturally thought, “gee, he was only 14 years older than me!” and again I was reminded of how quickly I am approaching yet another birthday.
As for Farrah, though I was never a fan, I can admire her willingness to expose something so personal but I kind of agree with Magnolia a bit. To me this is not so much educational as sensational and, personally, I have no wish to watch anyone die.
I wonder just how valuable this could be and I welcome any views from anyone who can see a value in this. Maybe it’s possible that this could help others facing the same situation or, possibly, their families. To me the death of a loved one is so unique and personal to everyone that I maybe I am missing the positive aspects?
Thanks you, my dear friend for this sensitive and timely post for those of us dealing with the loss of loved ones as we grow older. It is something that we probably avoid and maybe we Boomer Babes should face it head-on with courage as we do the other aspects of aging!
May 29th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
I can agree with you and how you feel when a celebrity dies. I think that we are so used to seeint them on tv that they almost become a part of the family in a way and thats what makes it hard to believe when they pass away
May 28th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
If we are going to celebrate life all the way to the finish line, we have to explore better ways to celebrate our final adventure, as well. Our culture is way behind on making death a rite of passage with mounds of loved ones supporting the one who is in the process of crossing over. While I have mixed feelings and resonate to some of Magnolia’s comments, at the same time, I applaud Farrah and anyone who demystifies death. The most alive place I ever experienced was the hospice in San Francisco where my mother died. There I saw that every moment–even our last moments–can be full of joy, tenderness, and compassion. Hopefully, our generation will leave a legacy that includes facing mortality with our same lust for life.
May 25th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Lovely, Eileen.
I, too, felt so sad when I read about Farrah Fawcett. And, yes, what a strong, powerful role model she is. Her willingness to be so public about her pain and share her personal transition from this life is courageous, if not heroic. Thank you for giving us a forum to read and talk about it.
May 25th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Great post–you have articulated what many of us are thinking and feeling. It is more of a challenge when we begin to see those in our own age group facing life threatening illnesses. I too was not a particular fan of Farrah Fawcett but admire the courage she is exhibiting in her difficult journey.
May 22nd, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Oh….I feel like I’m just a big, fat, meanie. I’ve talked to several other people who were feeling very sympathetic towards her. And, it’s not that I don’t. I really do. I guess the whole videoing her death thing just rubbed me all the wrong way.
It seemed borderline narcissistic to me I guess. So many people die horrific deaths everyday and their lives go by hardly noticed except for those who knew them and loved them. That she would think her life was somehow elevated such that she was “giving something back” by dying on camera just didn’t sit right with me.
Plus, when I heard Ryan O’Neal’s interview with Meridith Viera it all seemed so staged and theatrical……..I dunno. Maybe I’ve just become a horrible cynic.