Women Over Fifty—Bucking the Trend
Undeniably, we live in a youth oriented culture. But before we start complaining about the unfairness of it all, we might take a brief stroll down memory lane and remember we boomers share in the tiniest bit of responsibility for initiating society’s focus on the firm of flesh. With attitudes like “don’t trust anyone over thirty,” we certainly flaunted our share of disdain and hubris while living on the youthful side of the generation gap. Anyone care for a heaping dose of karma?
Even more telling, as the original “forever young” generation who’s beginning to show some definite signs of wear and tear, we’re busily huffing and puffing away at the gym, going under the knife for a “rejuvenating” lift, and running to our hair stylist for highlights and camouflage—all in the hopes of drenching ours aging bodies in those fabled waters of the fountain of youth.
In truth, I confess that I love what my own stylist says as she prepares her foils and paints my roots a fetching shade of blonde. “I’m bringing you back to your natural color,” she remarks with an admirably composed straight face. Yeah, right! Maybe in the third grade! Nevertheless, I doggedly ignore the fumes of the chemicals, submerge myself in the delusion that “blondes have more fun,” and consider my dye job a health treatment. (Perhaps I’m acting as a prime example for all those jokes referring to the intelligence of us gals with flaxen hair!)
Despite the rush to root revival to which many of us succumb, there’s a new wave of independent and courageous women who are going gray with pride and gusto. Maggie Rose Crane is the author of Amazing Grays—A Woman’s Guide to Making the Next 50 the BEST 50 (Regardless of your hair color!).
Confronted with her own issues regarding aging, Maggie watched with astonishment as her skin began to lose its elasticity and age-related crinkles began to form upon her face. Furthermore, she was “mildly horrified when my tummy morphed into a permanent flotation device.” Smile lines etched in deeper and Maggie found it necessary to color her hair more often. When she finally made the decision to stop dyeing her hair, Maggie came face-to-face with her fears about aging in a youth oriented culture. And so began her “not-so-graceful quest to aging mindfully.”
After dealing with and overcoming many of her own issues about growing older, Maggie wanted to share her insights with others. Her book offers a message of hope and inspiration; she exposes the fears and anxieties that haunt many maturing women and goes on to reveal how to mindfully navigate the turbulence with wisdom, perspective, and practice.
As I love talking with women who are embracing life on the feisty side of fifty, I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Maggie for Feisty Side of Fifty Radio. I invite you to take a listen. As always, the interview is a brief fifteen minutes, so take a bit of time for yourself and hear what she has to say. For those who wish to find out more about Maggie’s book, here is the link to her website.
There can be little doubt that boomers like Maggie are truly changing the spirit and style of aging. Yes, we’re a generation remarkable for its sense of passion and promise and a couple of gray hairs or “flotation devices” emerging from around our middle ain’t gonna stop us now. So go ahead: sprout those grays, wear them proudly, age with gusto, and show the world just how feisty a woman over fifty can be!
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January 31st, 2009 at 9:51 am
I’m loving all of your comments and points of view. I just wanted to point out that my book, “Amazing Grays”, is only a little about hair color and mostly about sharing everything I learned in my ‘not so graceful’ journey through midlife. I don’t believe every woman should go gray – it’s a personal choice. However, it was the process of growing out my gray that threw me up against all my fears and expectations about growing older in a youth obsessed society. I subsequently went on a 3 month silent retreat where it became clear that I needed to share what I had learned so that other women could benefit. (it’s never really quiet inside ones head!)
In the book I discuss the flubbering (I LOVE that term!)of our body, what we can do to maintain our vitality and overall health, lack of libido, the bio-identical vs synthetic hormone issue, how to quiet our fears of no longer being attractive or important, HOW to go gray if that speaks to you, how to live mindfully, reawaken slumbering dreams and take this opportunity to clear out the past and create a future that reflects the purposeful women you’ve become. SO much more than gray hair. My intention is to encourage women to live with gusto and become “Amazing Grays”- no matter what your hair color!
Thank you Eileen for such a wonderful interview. I hope everyone in the Bay area can come to hear your talk.
Special note to Magnolia – (and anyone else who has gone from colored to gray) I would love to include your brief story about how you went gray along with a recent digital head shot in my Gallery of Silver Sages at http://www.maggiecrane.com. We can use much of what you wrote in your post here. Let me know at maggie@maggiecrane.com.
January 27th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Loved your article. I’m rather fortunate to still have a youthful look at 60. Must be the freckles! I think it’s my DNA. My parents looked great until the day they died. Yes I still color my hair which I didn’t start until I was over 40. It wasn’t for the gray but the dull brown I had transformed into. So I started with foils to highlight and continued with covering the gray around the face. Frankly I could live with the gray, it’s the menopausal weight gain that’s driving me nuts.
January 26th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Eileen, I would have commented sooner, but I was busy coloring my hair! LOL! This is a perennial topic for women baby boomers, one I have blogged on myself … one that resurfaces in our psyches so often, we can hardly have too much discussion about it. I believe how each woman handles it is personal to her path. I think of going gray at least once a month when I color my hair. Like Pam, I’m not ready and I might not be until I’m 90. However, when I ready Magnolia’s comments and after hearing your interview with Maggie (it must be an M Thing), I am inspired about the concepts of “tinsel hair” and re-empowerment! As a person who has been on the inner growth path most of her adult life, I know any decisions in this regard will come from the inside out … as best they should. For me, it’s a continuous balance of the fact that looking young boosts my energy and helps me feel more vital …and the fact that cool aging has its own kick, and gray can be just as groovy in its own way and surely more honest. So, thank you for keeping me honest … and this issue alive for my ongoing assessment. The interview was great, and I can’t wait to read Maggie’s book.
January 25th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Isn’t that one of the perks of being this age in this day and age? We have choices. In my grandmother’s day, she had white hair (which was beautiful, I might add) because that’s just what women did back then. If she walked down the street with my color hair, people would have suspected her to be an alien. But today, women can go natural or not and no one cares! If it’s right for the woman, then all’s right with the world. Personally, my hairdresser is a genius with color, and she deserves all the hard-earned money I pay her! Diana
http://www.basicblackblog.blogspot.com
January 25th, 2009 at 3:39 am
I don’t think the acceptance of aging is easy. My heart and my mind are still as young as they ever were. I still recognise a child in me as well as a sensual, fit, vibrant,attractive young woman. It’s just those damned mirrors! Sure, I don’t like my growing flubber round the middle, or the ever increasing wrinkles those mirrors reveal, but I’ve also reached a time in my life where I’m finally not scared of trying new things, like different hair styles and hair colours. This is the first time I’ve ever had my hair this short, or this blonde. Not that long ago I would have been concerned about not looking feminine without my long locks, or looking butch. Now I know I can still be feminine without conforming to the feminine stereotype. Yep, I’m trying to cover up the grey, but I’m having a lot of fun doing it. Grey hair can come later! I think its very important to be who you want to be with confidence and comfort, and at this time in our lives we can be – grey or not.
January 24th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
What timing! I just noticed some gray strands of my own. My first reaction was to want to immediately call my hairdresser for an appointment to color my my hair. Then I remembered a woman I used to work for named Pat Hale. She had beautiful white hair while still fairly young. And I remembered the fun she had coming to the office with her hair streaked each day to match her outfit. Now I don’t think I’ll go that far, but it just reminded me that gray hair does not have to make you old. So I’ll wait. If I have the lovely silver gray of my grandad or the steel gray of my dad, I’ll keep it. Otherwise, Lady Clairol – here I come!
January 24th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
In my next life, when I come back as a blond, I’ll let you know
Seriously, I can’t say I’m looking forward to a head full of gray hair but I will accept it gracefully and make sure I have that beauty salon Diva look every time I step out of my house!
January 24th, 2009 at 8:24 am
I’m glad to hear that more confidence comes after 50. I’m 48 and looking forward to it!
January 23rd, 2009 at 11:35 pm
I congratulate all those who are brave enough to go there, but I’m not one of them. I’ll keep my blonde locks until I get closer to 70 or 90. I can tell you that blondes DO have more fun. :0)
January 23rd, 2009 at 4:48 am
Hey! you’re speaking my language
I stopped coloring my hair when I turned 50.
It took an inordinate amount of courage. I had to fight those awful feelings of insecurity and the nagging voice that kept trying to tell me…”you will look old”
Now, nearly 2 years later, I LOVE MY GRAY HAIR!! I even invest in products that make it MORE gray and beautiful. I use a special shampoo that gets rid of the chemicals hard water leaves and can dull gray hair. Then I polish it off with a spray that makes it twinkle and shine like the stars.
I call it my “tinsel hair”. I will never say never when it comes to coloring my hair again, but for now, the desire to stay gray is strong.
I will definately check out her website. I have a blog on my blogroll that is completely devoted to gray hair as well.
Anyway, great post Eileen!