Women Over Fifty—Your Authentically Happy Holidays
Sometimes growing older can bring on feelings of depression. If you’re a woman over fifty, you’ve undoubtedly had to face some less than happy realities. The body you inhabit has likely wrinkled and widened, dearly held relationships have grown distant and sour, and cherished loved ones have passed away. The holidays, a notoriously happy time of year, can actually bring on feelings of loss and sadness as we contemplate how our lives have changed with the passing of time.
So, if you’re feeling the holiday blues, I’d like to make a small suggestion. You might want to check out the work of Dr. Martin Seligman. He’s a well-known psychologist and author of several books. His site is called “Authentic Happiness” and his mission is to promote the field of Positive Psychology. Rather than focusing on an individual’s pathology, Seligman looks towards all things positive.
There are a variety of free questionnaires you can take that measure various personality traits relating to the art of happiness. These include scales on general happiness, optimism, gratitude, and overall life satisfaction. There are also several resources, articles, and newsletters you can access at no charge. Seligman’s site is one of the most valuable I’ve found, and it can get you thinking in new and positive ways. I encourage you to check it out—especially if you’re feeling stressed and out of sorts, two common emotions that surface during “the season to be jolly.”
Who knows? Following Seligman’s advice might be the first step to changing your mood and your inner reality. Plus, there’s a huge bonus to being happy: studies show that happy people live up to nine years longer than those who are chronically depressed. So, here’s to a hearty “ho-ho-ho” and to the enjoyment of authentically happy holidays!
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December 29th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Thank you, Eileen, and all the other wonderful women who have shared their thoughts about deep loss and unsettling situations. May our feisty side emerge more often than not in 2009. And may we be here for each other, to encourage and inspire, and to remind one another that, in spite of it all–even when there is no visible proof at the time–there is always something or someone to be grateful for.
December 29th, 2008 at 7:32 am
Thanks for addressing this. Through several losses and health issues, I felt slightly depressed over the holidays. Just couldn’t get into the spirit. I’ll look forward to checking out Dr. Seligman’s site.
December 26th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
This is our first Christmas without our beloved daughter Miriam and has been sad. All the more heightened because we have another daughter overseas who was having trouble with flights being cancelled on her – we were told on Christmas Eve that she never boarded a flight in Cairo and we spent 4 hours worrying and praying for her safety. Turns out she was on the plane – the airline stuffed up somehow. Not good.
December 23rd, 2008 at 11:52 am
It is a great time to reflect on happy memories. That is one way to fight depression. You are right about more depression this time of year and we must do what we can to create positive thoughts and energy.
Spend a few minutes each day pretending you are happy and not depressed. Eventually you will find you are authenically laughing and enjoying yourself. Also spend a few minutes each day focusing on the wonderful things that happened this year or on past Christmases rather than continually dwelling on the negative.
I did this when I lost Mom just before Christmas a few years ago. I made myself focus on all the happy memories we had made and it boosted my spirtis.
December 22nd, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Eileen,
Even through sadness, loneliness, and emptiness, we can experience peace of mind and heart, through faith in Jesus Christ, the reason for the celebration, and the healer of broken hearts. True joy comes from within, and our thoughts and the words that come out of our mouth directly affect us. I have begun to realize this and put into practice the power of the tongue, and how we are what we say and think. It is so easy to give in to sadness and depression, it happens to all of us at one time or another. Focusing on the positive does help us through. I love what Vicki Taylor had to say, and agree 100%
Thank you for a great post. You are cutting edge with your topics.
December 21st, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I’ll have to send my husband over to the website, he always get depressed come Christmas.
December 20th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Dr. Seligman’s writing looks interesting. I do believe authentic happiness must come from the inside but it’s breaking through all of the other garbage (stress, depression, loneliness,, etc) that makes happiness tough for some people.
December 20th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
It’s great that you point out that “the happiest time of year” can be the opposite of that for many people, and it’s made more difficult for those who are suffering from grief, sadness or depression because of all the happy-happy-joy-joy that sometimes can slap you in the face!
I think it behooves us all to realize that not everyone is surrounded by loving family; there are many people out there – especially in this economic upheaval – that are financially challenged, lonely and made sadder by all the jolly around.
It would be nice if those who are blessed and fortunate to share a bit of that with someone around who is not.
I also will enjoy taking those questionnaires to see if I am making good progress in my quest to be a more positive person!
Happy Holidays my Boomer BFF!
December 20th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
I’ve always found myself on a cycle of depression around the holidays, but this year is different for me. Well, I guess I have to thank my psychiatrist for that with a great change in meds!! But, it also helped that I have an awesome therapist who helped me cognitively see that I can change my outlook on life as well. I live more in the present. That’s really important for someone with OCD, anxiety and panic disorders who gets depressed around the holidays. So, I say to you, try to live in the present moment. Don’t let yesterday invade your thoughts, it’s done and over with and you can’t do anything about it anymore. And, try not to worry too much about tomorrow. It takes away from enjoying today.
Not only do happy people live longer, but when you’re happy, other people tend to be happier around you. It’s the best “disease” you can spread!
December 20th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Great post, for this time of year. I think most people get a bit stressed aroung Christmas, and some help in finding happiness when you can’t quite get there has got to be a good thing. Thanks for the link. Will check it out now.
December 20th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Eileen, thanks for sharing about Dr. Seligman! I look forward to checking into his work. We have had many losses this year, and while I’m overall retaining an upbeat spirit, when those blue moments inevitably happen, it’s great to have a toolbox. Bless you for providing one!