Women Over Fifty—Your Ultimate Makeover
Did you know that a postmenopausal woman has up to twenty times the amount of testosterone per unit of estrogen than an ovulating woman? After a woman’s ovaries have essentially ceased production of estrogen, the adrenals continue to manufacture testosterone. This amazing fact means that midlife women typically become more male-like in our attitudes and behaviors. We are more likely to turn our focus from an outward one, trying to please others, to an inward focus: trying to please ourselves. In fact, we strong-willed old broads exhibit a far greater urge to express our independence, self-assertion, and mastery.
In Gail Sheehy’s seminal work, The Silent Passage, that brought menopause blasting out of the closet, she wrote: “Once the ovarian transition is complete, a woman enters a new state of equilibrium… Think of it as discarding the shell of the reproductive self—who came into being in adolescence—and coming out the other side to coalescence… It is a time when all the wisdom a woman has gathered from fifty years of experience in living comes together. Once she is no longer confined to the culture’s definition of a woman as a primarily sexual object and breeder, a full unity of her feminine and masculine sides is possible. As she moves beyond gender definition, she gains new license to speak her mind and initiate action.”
So, my postmenopausal friends, ask yourself the following:
How are you speaking your mind?
How are you coming up with new ways to express yourself?
How are you honoring your own needs and values?
How are you initiating action?
Just a few questions to ponder as you take your own, unique, and self-defined journey into the second season of life.
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November 9th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I am 54 and am finding to my complete amazement that I am audaciously willing to say and do whatever I darn well want!
October 30th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I have always been one to speak my mind. However, over the past five years ( I am now 55), I find that I am more selective on my choice of words coming from my mind, I choose to be kinder and more respectful of others feelings and situations, nevertheless I will always speak the truth.
I started blogging in an attempt to help redefine myself which to me was a brand new way of expressing myself. I’m not living by any rules, like “must blog daily” or “must say only nice things about myself” or “must be happy all the time”, I speak the truth about who I am and where I am going.
I honor my values and needs by taking care of me more instead of taking care of everyone else first. I found that in taking care of me I am a more caring person.
I have made very deliberate self serving changes in my 50’s. Three years ago I was presented with the opportunity to take a severance or find another role, I realized I was not happy with who I had become in corporate America and decided I would take the severance and start anew. Since January of 2006 I have been a full time homemaker, part time consultant, I have planted beautiful roses, tended to my vegetable garden, painted the interior of my house, remodeled my kitchen, learned how to make jewelry and I have started writing a book about my mom and dad love story.
Thanks for your blog, I love being on the fiesty side of fifty.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I guess when I hit my menopause (medically induced) at 41, I really let it loose. I became more outspoken ..about my ideals and needs. And, I started putting my wants and needs first. For the most part. I’m still a very giving person at heart, and I have a hard time saying “no” to people, but I’ve learned the hard way, that I have to, if only to keep my own sanity.
Pam, I did go to apple shaped, but now I’m more hour glass shaped again. Yay! And with the right dimensions!
I love this new freedom I’ve found, and I don’t ever want to lose it. I’m more confident, more independent. More ME!
October 25th, 2008 at 7:57 am
I have always spoken my mind – as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to temper what I say that’s in there though, lol.
With the advent of blogs I have learned that I truly enjoy writing as well as being an artist. I always thought of myself as an artist but I’m beginning to see myself as a writer too. My internet activity came at about the same time as menopause set in for me so blogs were a perfect outlet for that new passion!
I am concentrating my artistic and journalistic talents on what interests me and what I am focused on now as I grow into the wisdom of age.
I’ve always been a good initiator – now I’m using that to get what I really want as opposed to what I need!
Oh, btw, can I blame all these new chin hairs on this too??? LOL.
October 25th, 2008 at 6:23 am
I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind so maybe I’ve been postmenopausal for a LONG time!
Being a journalist allowed (and continues to allow) me to speak my mind. My girlfriend says I’m the only person she knows who can cuss someone out in the “nicest way” without every using a cuss word.
Creating Boomer Diva Nation and my writing has given me new ways to express myself beyond what I would’ve imagined.
I honor my needs and values by LOVING my husband and my daughter and grandson. My husband gives me total joy and loving him madly fulfills my value of being a “good wife.” I also honor myself by taking care of myself healthwise. What good is it to have a “loving” husband, if I’m not healthy enough to enjoy him
October 25th, 2008 at 5:00 am
Hadn’t remembered this physiological fact but it explains a lot. My new ways of expressing myself since 49 include getting married, leaving a career as professional chef to become a certified life coach to creating a community where midlife women can come for the straight info on health at midlife.
I say it like it is, probably always have but what’s changed is that my goal is to help, educate or support not just to be right.
Gregory Anne
October 25th, 2008 at 4:30 am
I’ve become more and more convinced and comfortable with the fact that everyone is entitled to my opinion.
October 24th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
I told my friend, as I explained what happens to our hormones during menopause, that testosterone increases, as estrogen decreases. This is why we go from being pear shaped to apple shaped. We just turn into little men. LOL
My answers:
1. I never had any trouble speaking my mind. I don’t care as much who hears it or what they think about it as I once did.
2. Yes, I write, and I also have cussing Fridays in my shop. Nothing bad, we just say sheeaat a lot. It’s been fun and a stess release, because none of us use any kind of foul language. We only use it as a joke, we aren’t really mad when we say it. It makes us laugh.
3.I have needs??? Who knew? Thanks for the tip…novel concept.
4.I string bras from buildings, and jump on the roof on buildings in a single bound. Aside from that, I am about to have my first book published.
October 24th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
To answer your first question–How am I speaking my mind? The biggest difference is that now when I put my foot in my mouth I don’t give a darn.
The freedom of the fifties and beyond… gotta love it!
Love your blog, Eileen.