Women Over 50—Raise Your “Havingness Quotient!”
You may be wondering what I’m talking about. But, there is such a thing as a “havingness quotient” and it’s worth examining and developing. I know, because I recently had my own shaken in ways I never could have imagined.
I have been working on a goal for over five years. When I started, it seemed far out of reach if not impossible. I encountered one hurdle after another and each success was followed by a disappointment. It was almost as if I’d take two steps forward and one step back.
However, I wanted this badly enough to persevere against the odds. My stubbornness kicked in and I doggedly put my nose to the grindstone despite the scrapes and scratches the grinding left on my poor proboscis.
Then a seeming miracle happened—things began to fall into place! I began to get recognized for my work and signs of support started to spring up where I’d least expected. I was ecstatic!
To my surprise, after the initial thrill and amazement began to wear off, I became anxious and began to fall into a funk. What if I couldn’t perform up to expectation? What if I were playing the imposter? What if I would fail? All these questions and doubts started to swirl through my brain and I began to feel immobilized.
But then, a dear friend who is also a therapist, mentioned that I might be struggling with issues related to my ability to “have.” She suggested I try a little exercise to measure my havingness quotient. It’s quite simple and, if you ever have doubts that you are deserving of an outcome, I suggest you give it a try.
Sit quietly, close your eyes and go inside. Imagine that you have a measuring stick running up your body and this gauges your feelings of worthiness for a particular result. It is marked from one to ten and acts like a barometer so that your score can raise and lower.
When I first attempted this, my ranking was a three—far from reaching my desired outcome. If you believe in the Law of Attraction, such a low score was sabotaging my chances for ultimate success. Aware of this, I’m now diligently practicing raising my havingness quotient. I check in frequently to see how high I can take my readings and I’m happy to say that I’m now a seven and climbing.
I pass this along so that each of you can raise your numbers and your potential. If you have spent valuable energy and time devoted to accomplishing a much desired goal, then it’s worth a bit of extra effort. Why not give this little exercise a try and make your own way to the top?
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June 3rd, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Thanks for writing about the
havingness quotient. Feeling good
about ourselves makes the world
a more positive place.
June 1st, 2008 at 10:23 am
Beautiful. If only we could believe with ease and lack of effort that we are capable. Imagine the possibility. Our lack and undeserving seems embedded within us like a chip at birth. I have also heard that if you meditate on your “success cube” in other words the space around you that you allow success to fill you can stretch this cube and grow into all the success you can imagine.
May 31st, 2008 at 6:07 pm
I appreciated this article and the exercise that goes along with it. I totally agree that we have often self sabotage our own efforts because we either lack the confidence to reach our goals, or we just plain don’t feel we are worthy of it. I am going to try this exercise and see how I measure up! Thanks for sharing!
May 31st, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Eileen – “havingness” – great concept for feeling you deserve a better life and the things you hope for!
I will use this exercise when my “don’t deserve demons” start pecking away at me!
May 31st, 2008 at 2:43 pm
What a great idea, Eileen! Thanks for sharing it. I think I’ll go sit for a few minutes to see what my own havingness quotient is~
Congrats on starting out at three and moving up to a seven. You’re a risng star!
May 30th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I believe God gives up wake up calls from time to time. There is a scripture: “To whom much is given much is required” Sometimes we tend to forget that it’s not about us so when things start to fall apart,it becomes difficult to handle. But if you keep your focus on BLESSING others —you will continue to be BLESSED.
Eileen, you have been a blessing to others so it is your due season!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
What a wonderful exercise and one that most of us could benefit from–thanks for sharing it with us! I’m going to give it a try myself. As they say in the Law of Attraction, the biggest obstacles is that we don’t “allow” what we want to come to us.
Congratulations to you for continuing to pursue your goal to get what you want in spite of all the setbacks; it’s very clear that it took a lot of perseverence and courage too!
In a book I co-authored, Your Life Your Way: The Essential Guide for Women, we talk about the negative internal messages and self-doubt that pop up. It’s true for all people–we haven’t been taught to believe we deserve or to allow things to come to us.
So glad you are finding a way that works for you…you definitely are deserving of all you want.
Julie Molner
http://www.essentialguideforwomenblog.com